To walk a mile in my shoes
by twilightmom
Summary: When an underappreciated Rosalie winds up switching bodies with her goofy husband Emmett, hilarity ensues. Can they figure out how to make things right? Or are they stuck? And WHAT was in those brownies? AU, AH, OOC Rated M for language and eventual LEMON
1. Chapter 1: Saturday

**AN: Hey everyone! Welcome to another new story. This idea came to me and was originally only going to be a one shot for the SMC contest. I knew exactly who I wanted to co-author this story with me. So I whined, I begged and she took pity on me. **

**Introducing…**_**mischief-maker1**_** as Emmett. **

**Kick back and enjoy the ride!**

**And a special thanks to our Masterbeta –**_**Fiberkitty**_**. Whose comments on this first chapter rocked my world. (I have a feeling this may be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.)**

**Make sure you leave us a review or I'll have Rose come kick your ass! You know she could. Just Kidding!!**

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**Emmett POV **

_Damn it! _I thought as I raced home. I worked for one of the largest Architecture firms in the state, and had to meet a client on a Saturday. Damn it.

And as if _that _wasn't bad enough, I had to go with Rosie to this dumb party tonight. I hate this shit. Just because my gorgeous, beautiful, sexiest wife on the fucking planet was on some garden party invite list, we had to go to some hoity-toity, hors devours, tiny fucking finger sandwiches event tonight when what I really wanted to do was watch the damned football game.

My precious Tennessee Titans were playing the damned Cowboys and I had a fucking shitload of money riding on my boys to win. There was no way in _hell _I was going to pay Whitlock a dime _or _wear a Dallas Cowboys shirt to work on Monday. Nope, not gonna happen.

But no, I couldn't sit back, pop open a brew and chill out in front of my big assed hundred and nine inch screen because my wife insisted I accompany her to a fucking _garden party. _Who the hell has garden parties at night anyway? Ain't that shit supposed to be at _brunch _when us dudes actually are doing something worthwhile? Like, washing the car or some shit?

I sighed as I drove my jeep, my baby, up into the driveway. Rosalie's fire engine red Mercedes SUV was parked, shiny and bright at the ready for us to take tonight. She had loved it when I bought it for her as her birthday present. Besides, that was a way cooler car for her to carpool in than a freakin' minivan.

I stepped inside and heard a chorus of "Daddy! Daddy!"

I smiled as I scooped up five year old Hope and two year old Faith in my arms. "Hey guys! Miss me?"

"Always Daddy!" Hope said as she snuggled into my neck.

"Dad-dy." Faith said. She was still trying to master the talking thing, but she was managing it pretty well.

"Are you ready for Angela to baby-sit you tonight?"

"Yeah! She is always so much fun!" Hope said.

"Hope! Faith! Clean up this mess, NOW!" All three of us winced and Rosalie came into the foyer. "How many times must I ask you to clean up the play-dough? You know Mommy and Daddy have to leave soon. Please clean up now, or I won't let Angela get pizza for you tonight."

That started a round of tears and I said, "Come on girls, I'll help you clean up. Mommy can go get ready."

Rosalie sighed. "Emmett…why do you always have to make me out to be the bad guy?"

"Me? I'm just trying to help the girls and give you some time!" I told her.

She shook her head. "Fine." She said, sounding almost defeated. "I'll be upstairs getting ready."

"Rose…"

"Save it Emmett." And with that, she turned and all but stomped upstairs.

I blew out a breath. I can never do anything right. I helped the girls clean up, put on "Finding Nemo" for them to watch, and walked upstairs. I saw my angel fixing her hair at the vanity. "Babe? What did I do?"

She looked at me in the mirror. "I try and try Emmett and you just don't get it. I want our girls to realize they have to clean up their own messes!"

"And they do, most of the time. Daddy just helped them out a bit, that's all."

She let out a snort. "Take a shower. We need to get going."

I sensed she was still mad at me, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out why helping the girls was wrong. I stripped out of my work clothes and hurried through my shower, taking care to shave and try to fix my hair half-ass before I put on Rosalie's favorite cologne. I sneered at the clothes she had lain out for me. A suit. And a tie. Fuck.

I got dressed and went back downstairs. She was giving Angela the last minute instructions and quickly looked me up and down. A smile graced her face and she said, "You clean up good McCarty."

I grinned. "You said the same thing to me on our first date."

She laughed. "Come on. Let's go."

I drove her car. She didn't want to get into my jeep. Too, I think she liked impressing everyone with her ride. She didn't understand how we could have so much money and I still wanted to drive my jeep. Women just didn't understand…

We arrived, and yup, sure enough, the party was shit. Fairy lights and cucumber sandwiches and not a damned cocktail weenie in sight. I caught sight of Whitlock and strolled over. " Alice bring you to this shit?"

He nodded as he tugged on his tie. "Apparently Esme Cullen is the quote; 'crème de la crème" of these things and she is the chair of their…whatever, so, yeah."

I rolled my eyes, downed my champagne and made my way back to Rosalie. She was finishing up a conversation with her friend Bella. "Rosie? This blows. Can we go home now?"

She glared at me. "No. Damn it Emmett. Put on your big boy pants and deal with this!"

"This shit is stupid. I'm hungry and I want to watch my fucking football game!" I shouted back at her.

"You can never do anything for me, can you?" She asked as the sobs started. Great. And I was the bastard that made her cry.

"Rose, I just…I don't like shit like this."

And just like that, the waterworks stopped. "I don't give a shit Emmett! You are going to do this _one _thing for me! You never do anything to help me! I cook! I clean! I gave up my job and my life for you and our girls! And all you do is undermine my authority!"

"How the hell do I do that? You've got my damn balls in your pocket Rosalie. I don't stand a chance! All the men at work laugh at me because I have to _ask _if I can go out with them!"

"You shouldn't WANT to go out with them! You should want to go out with ME!" She slapped my face and ran off.

My shoulders slumped. I'm such an ass. "Rose!" I ran after her, through the garden and into the kitchen of the house. "Rose, stop! Okay!"

"No Emmett! You never appreciate anything I do for you! I try and I try and you act like it's my _job._ Well let me tell you, I look after you, after those babies because I LOVE them and I love you. But I will _not _be looked at as your slave!"

Just then, a waiter bumped into us. "Whoa dudes, you need to chill out. Here, have a brownie." He handed a small square to me and one to Rosalie.

She glared at him and downed it, followed by the rest of her champagne. I popped mine in my mouth as well. "Rose…"

"Emmett, I hope one day you get to feel like what it is like to be me. Because you couldn't handle it."

I snorted. "Please. You go to the grocery store. You take Hope to school. You run and play baby party with Alice and Bella all day. You clean when you feel like it. That is _not _work. I could do it blindfolded."

Tears pooled in her eyes and one spilled over onto her cheek. That was when I realized I took it too far. She sniffed and I started to apologize when she said, "Take me home Emmett. I don't want to do this. I don't even want to look at you."

I opened my mouth again, but then shut it. My foot was in it anyway. I grabbed the keys from my pocket and we walked through the house to the front door.

The ride home was quiet. Neither of us had anything to say. When we got home, I paid Angela and I said to Rosalie as the babysitter let herself out, "I'm sleeping in the guest room, aren't I?"

"Damn straight," Was the last words she said to me.

I blew out a breath and walked upstairs. I popped my head in to check on each of the girls, who were both sleeping peacefully, before I stripped down to my boxers and fell onto the bed, exhaustion taking over me.

I awoke the next morning in our bed. Which was odd because I really didn't remember getting up and coming in here. I lifted my head and saw that I was on Rose's side of the bed. Did we make up and I forgot it? What happened?

I stood shakily, though I wasn't sure why. I blinked again and tried to focus. For some reason, I felt really strange. I made my way to the bathroom and reached down to grab Emmett Junior when…he wasn't there.

I looked down only to find a beautiful pair of tits staring back at me. _What the hell? _I ran over to the mirror only to find Rosalie staring back at me. "Rosie, baby, you won't believe…" Then I noticed it was her voice saying the words. I lifted my hand, and she lifted hers. I reached up and grabbed my hair, pulling it around to my face…it was blond.

_Oh shit, I've switched bodies with my wife. _That was the last thought I had before the world spun and I hit the floor.

**Rose POV**

I struggled to open my eyes. _What the hell had happened last night? _How did a simple garden party turn into a free for all between me and Emmett? All I had wanted was a night of adult conversation.

Did he not understand that the majority of my days were spent with our two year old watching Dora the Explorer or the Backyardigans? Fuck, if I had to hear Dora sing "Backpack, Backpack" one more time I would rip my hair out.

Of course he didn't understand. He spent his days at the office surrounded by adults. The only time I got that was when Bella, Alice and I got the kids together for play dates and those were getting farther and farther apart due to everyone's busy schedules.

Was it too much to ask for an adults night out that didn't involve a busty waitress serving us hot wings and watered down beer? No it wasn't! Could he just give me this one night? NO! He had to go act like a fucking baby, whining about watching another football game.

Like I really wanted to be at Esme's party. Most of those people did not know a begonia from their butt, but hey, I'm Rosalie Hale McCarty and I am expected to move in certain circles. However, I knew as soon as I saw him in that suit that we wouldn't last long at the party. The only thing better than Emmett in a suit was him out of it. Make an appearance, schmooze the socials and get the hell out. That was until he started in on me.

If he had just said he wanted to be alone with me, wine me, dine me, sixty-nine me, anything, I would have been out of there in a heartbeat. But all he was concerned about was his precious Titan's game. So I had pulled out the big guns.

I had cried - in front of every stuck up bitch I knew - I had cried. Not really of course, that shit is what Bella pulls. I swear she can wrap Edward's dick around her little pinky with those brown eyes full of tears. But I figured it was worth a try; so I forced a few sobs hoping to make my point.

Didn't work though. That stupid comment about 'not liking shit like this' sent me over the edge. Like I enjoy watching Vin Diesel movies every weekend, or listening to country music whenever Jasper comes over, not to mention his obsession with Elvis. I put up with my fair of stuff, so should he.

I guess it was a combination of the champagne and the conversation I had with Bella about Edward taking her away for the weekend - just because she is such a fantastic wife and mother that made me snap.

All the cooking, the cleaning, never once has he said thank you. I was a promising architect just like him when we met in school. One year into my career and _BAM,_ pill fails, hello Hope. Everything I had planned changed with those two pink lines on the pregnancy stick.

Granted we were lucky. My father had promoted Emmett in his firm so we could have a comfortable life. I was going to be a stay at home mommy, daddy brings home the bacon and we live happily ever after. Unfortunately, it didn't work out quite that easy.

My father never did approve of me marrying a backwoods mountain man from Tennessee as he likes to call Emmett. Nothing he ever does is good enough for my father. More than once he has talked about opening his own firm but he stays so we can have the security we are used to.

For that I am grateful. I try to show him by running an impeccable house. I do all the shopping, errands, laundry. You name it, I take care of it. He has two gorgeous daughters and a wife who didn't eat carbs or sugar for three months after giving birth so she could fit into a skintight Catwoman suit to match his Batman costume for the office Halloween party. Everything I do is because I love him. I want him to be proud of his family, happy with his life.

But last night he made me feel worthless. Like nothing I did was important. Like taking care of our house and family didn't matter as much as his office job. And before it was over with the fake sobs had become real tears. Fuck - I hate to cry!

And to top it off I did something I had never done before. I slapped him. Granted we had our fair share of screaming matches but never had I struck him. By the time it was over all I wanted was to go home and curl up in our bed and wait for morning.

I finally opened my eyes and glanced around our spare bedroom. Surely, I hadn't come in here for make up sex. And if I had surely I would have remembered. Sex with Emmett was nothing less than spectacular every time. However, I had drunk quite a few champagne cocktails before our throw down.

I placed my hands on my outer thighs…silky boxers…definitely make up sex. I loved to put on Em's shorts after we made love. I guess I had caved and had made my way here during the night.

I glanced over at the clock on the night stand...six-thirty. The girls should sleep at least another couple of hours. As long as we had made up I wanted another proper fucking, one I could enjoy this time.

Maybe I could jump in the shower and get myself clean before Emmett woke up.

I made my way back to our bedroom and noticed the empty bed.

_Hmm… maybe he is already in the shower? That would be a very nice way to wake up, feeling his large hands soap up my body, letting the hot water caress my head as I take him in my mouth. _

I felt a strange sensation in my lower region. I looked down to see a massive cock straining against the boxers I was wearing.

_What the fuckin hell?_

I ran to the bathroom and there lying on the floor was my body. I turned and looked into the mirror. Staring back was my husband. Curly brown hair, blue eyes, dimples and all - Emmett Aaron McCarty.

"Em?" _Oh dear God, that's his voice_.

I took one more look at my lifeless body on the bathroom floor and silently joined it.


	2. Chapter 2: Sunday

**Disclaimer: We don't own it. 'Nuff said. **

**Emmett POV **

I regained consciousness only to find my body lying limply on the floor next to me. _Shit, I hit my head harder than I thought and I've died. Huh…wonder if Jennifer Love Hewett will help me get to the other side? _I felt some moisture gather between my thighs. _That feels weird. _

I sat up, and that was when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror again and it all came crashing on me. I was in Rose's body. That meant… "Ro? Rosie!" I said, shaking my body.

She, well, I, made a grunting sound and I found myself looking into my deep blue eyes. "Em?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"What happened?"

I shook my head. "I don't know babe. I just…I don't know."

She was standing in a shot. "What do you mean you don't know? Change us back!"

"Rosie, sweetie, I don't know how to change us back. I don't even know this isn't a dream."

She pinched my arm. "OW! That shit hurt." I said as I rubbed my, er, _her_, arm.

Then, she giggled, or rather, coming from my voice, it was quite loud. I clamped my hand over her mouth. "SHH!!! The kids!"

She sobered immediately. "So, what are we going to do?" She asked.

I thought a moment. "Well, it is Sunday, so we don't have to go to work…"

"Oh no!" She said suddenly.

"What?"

"I'm helping with Jessica Newton's baby shower today!"

My nose went up into a snarl. "You're actually co-hosting a shower for that hag?"

She shot me a look. "Just because you and Mike don't get along doesn't mean she and I can't…"

"Bullshit. You've never liked her."

"I'm trying to be nice." She said flippantly.

"You're trying to get business. Everyone knows Newton Outfitters is getting ready to expand. You want us to get the job."

"They bought ten acres of land Em! This place is going to be huge! Damn right I'm trying to get the job for you!"

My heart warmed and I pulled her to me. "That's why I love you. You always think of others before yourself."

She pushed me away roughly and I tumbled to the floor. And _that _was why I wasn't very hard on the kids. With my big hands I could hurt them. Maybe now she would see.

"Oh God, Em, I'm so sorry." She reached her hand down and I took it. She hauled me up to her and then we were flush against each other. It was weird, feeling every line of my body against me, or, well, her body. I felt that fluid pool down in my center again and I really had the urge to explore this different body's thing. How would it feel to be rammed from behind with that monster cock I sported?

Shit, that was almost nasty. But at the same time…

Her fingers snapped in front of me. "Earth to Em."

I blinked. "Yeah?"

She sighed. "Even in _my _body you turn into a space cadet!"

I shot her a look. "I'm sorry I'm not the most attentive, smartest person you know Rosalie. If you wanted that, you should have married Edward when your parents pushed you to."

Her hands fisted. "You son of a bitch! How dare you throw that up in my face? Edward and I were _never _more than friends! But at least if I would have married him he would appreciate me!"

My eyes grew wider. "Appreciate you? Honey, of course I appreciate you! How could you think I don't?"

She didn't get a chance to answer, because just then we heard the pitter-patter of little feet. Hope. Rose took one look at me and said, "Clothes! Hide!"

I glanced down at myself and let out a little yelp. I was still naked. I ran into the closet in time to hear, "Daddy! Wanna play?"

My heart warmed. I always wanted to play with my little munchkins. I heard Rosalie answer, "Not now sweetie. Go downstairs and put on your show. Is Faith still sleeping?"

Hope must have answered, because a moment later, Rose was back, opening the closet door. She stepped inside and pulled it shut. My hands automatically went to her, well, my, waist and she growled. "No. Not now."

I laughed. "I never thought I'd hear those words coming out of my mouth."

She let out another growl. "Emmett. This is serious. Can you think of anything that caused this?"

I shrugged, and then remembered she couldn't see me in the dark, so I felt for a light switch. I grinned when I noticed my body sportin' some wood. "Guess I'm not the only one that likes the idea of being shut in a closet with you. Come on Rosie…"

She held up a hand. "Not just no, but _hell _no Emmett!"

"Come on, you're _very _into the idea."

She glared at me, which, I had to admit, was kinda scary in my body. Weird. I felt like I was on an acid trip or something. Which was odd in itself, 'cause that was one thing I hadn't done. I liked alcohol in school, not drugs. That shit messed you up permanently. Then it hit me… "That guy!"

Her eyebrow rose. "What guy?"

"The guy at the party. He gave us like, brownies, remember?"

She shot me a look. "I honestly don't think hash brownies caused this unless we're still tripping, and I doubt that very seriously."

"Yeah, but…I mean, we didn't piss off any old Chinese woman."

"Huh?"

I rolled my eyes. "Freaky Friday, remember? Lindsay Lohan before she was a skank-ho carpet munching freak?"

Rosalie looked at me and laughed again. "I thought you liked girl/girl action Em."

My mouth fell open. I didn't even want to know _how _my wife knew that shit. I mean, it wasn't like I'd ever wanted _her _to…well, yeah, okay, I kinda would like to see some chick buried in Rose's pussy as I rammed into her from behind, but hey, that was just me. I'm a pig. I accept it. "Yeah, but, she's weird."

She shook her head. "So…how are we going to do this?"

Which is how I ended up at a baby shower while the women prattled on about diaper rash and nipple cream and I was just about to die of embarrassment when Jessica asked me, "So Rose…didn't you breast feed?"

_Fuck…I'm in hell. _

**Rose POV**

I looked at the clothes Emmett had laid on the bed for me to wear to Jasper's this afternoon - like I couldn't pick out something on my own. For some reason I had been informed it was VERY important to wear the Titans jersey since they had won last night.

One thing was for certain, getting ready was sure a hell of a lot easier. Jump in the shower, shampoo, soap, rinse, done. I didn't have to curl my hair or apply makeup although I did have to help Em. There was no way I was letting him go to Jessica Newton's baby shower looking like a ten dollar hooker. It was all I could do to contain my laughter when he had left the bathroom with makeup one step down from Bozo the clown.

"What?" He had asked when he saw me bury my face in my hands.

"I told you to let me help you. Applying makeup is an art, sweetie. You look like you need to be hanging out on Sunset Boulevard."

"How the hell do you know what to do? There are fifty fucking million colors in there. And what exactly is this?" He grabbed the eyelash curlers and shoved them in my face.

"Those are to curl your eyelashes. Go and wash all that shit off your face and have a seat."

I spent the next hour, while he fidgeted and complained, reapplying his makeup and fixing his - I mean my - hair until he was perfect.

I then pulled out the dress I had picked out for the day. After he had put it on I had to stick my hands down the front to adjust the 'girls'. I noticed as my hands ran across my breasts he let out a small shudder. _Not surprising_. _Every time he touches my tits my panties get wet._ What was surprising was how the dick in my pants seemed to immediately spring to attention. Such an odd feeling. And no way to even hide it and I told him so.

"You have to learn to adjust it, so it's not so noticeable."

"One, there is no way this" I said pointing to the enormous erection pushing against the pajama bottoms I had on, "could not be noticeable. And two, I'm not learning anything because I'll be damned if we are going to be stuck like this forever."

"Then you have to at least try to control it, because it usually has a brain of its own."

"Exactly how do you do that?"

"Think about something nonsexual. Sing the national anthem in your brain, count backwards, anything that can get your mind off sex."

"What do you think of?"

"Your pudgy ass father naked except for that freakin' bow tie he always wears. That can cool me off faster than a bucket of ice cubes down my pants."

I visibly shuddered and the image of my father seemed to deflate the erection. "Ewww! You're right. That _is_ disgusting. Now come on let's get your shoes and get you going."

We had spent the next twenty minutes arguing on which shoes to wear. I had not been to a social function in anything less than three inch heels since I was fourteen years old, however, there was no way he could walk in them. He wobbled around like he had been drinking tequila all day. Finally, I found a pair of flats in the back of the closet that I bought a few years ago when I had sprained an ankle. Thank God! He was threatening to wear my sneakers if I didn't find something soon.

Two hours after starting I finally ushered him out the door with the stern advice that he would do best to say as little as possible and try to get home as soon as he could so we could try and figure out how to fix this mess.

I pulled the jersey over my head and slipped on my jeans. Never in a million years would I understand a man's obsession with football. Watching a bunch of guys run around with a ball getting all sweaty and dirty… _Whoa!_ There was the one eyed monster rearing its head again. How in the fuck do guys get anything done when their pecker never goes off duty? At least as a woman I didn't have to let the whole world know I was aroused.

I loaded up the girls in the jeep. Alice had agreed to have a babysitter at her house for their daughter Reagan, Bella's son Anthony and our two girls while she went to the shower and we 'guys' worked on their fence.

"Daddy it feels so good outside can we put the top down, please." Hope piped up from the backseat.

"I don't know sweetie…"

"Please, Daddy, please, please, please"

"Pleeeease…" Faith chimed in, even though she didn't know what she was pleading for.

"Okay, it's not too far to Auntie Alice's so it should be okay." I set about taking down the soft top and climbed in to the driver's seat. As soon as I had started the engine I heard those little voices again.

"Daddy, I want to listen to our song."

"Song, we have a song?"

"Course we do Daddy, you silly goose. You said it was for me and Faith when we get bigger and all those corndogs start coming around."

"Corndogs?"

"You know, you said one day when we were grown up and we would be so beautiful that all the guys would be coming around the house…"

"You mean horn dogs…"

"Yeah, that's what you said…"

"Horn dog" Faith repeated. _Good Lord, what is he teaching our daughters?_

"You said it would be our anthill."

"You mean anthem…"

"That's what I said. Can we listen to it? "

"I guess so but I don't know where it is?"

"You are being silly today Daddy. It is in the CD player, song number two."

I turned on the radio and popped out the CD, Rodney Atkins, _Cleaning my gun_. What kind of crap was he letting the girls listen to? I reinserted the disc and country music filled the air.

_The Declaration of Independence  
Think I could tell you that first sentence  
But then I'm lost  
I can't begin to count the theories  
I've had pounded in my head  
That I forgot  
I don't remember all that Spanish  
Or the Gettysburg address  
But there is one speech from high school  
I'll never forget_

_Come on in boy sit on down  
And tell me about yourself  
So you like my daughter do you now?  
Yeah we think she's something else  
She's her daddy's girl  
Her momma's world  
She deserves respect  
That's what she'll get  
Ain't it son?  
Hey y'all run along and have some fun  
I'll see you when you get back  
Bet I'll be up all night  
Still cleanin' this gun_

I listened to the words and a loud laugh erupted from my lips. I could just see Emmett driving along singing this song about cleaning his guns. I glanced in the rear view mirror and saw both girls bobbing their heads along to the music.

"You like it baby dolls?"

"Yeah, Daddy, turn it up!" Hope screamed above the music.

_Well now that I'm a father  
I'm scared to death one day my daughter  
Is gonna find  
That teenage boy I used to be  
That seems to have just one thing on his mind__  
_We rode the rest of the way singing and laughing - the warm wind blowing around us. No wonder Em loved his jeep so much and refused to trade it in for something more economical. I never let him put the top down because I didn't want to mess up my hair. _What have I been missing? As soon as we switched back he was taking me out all day in this. Perhaps _without _the girls. _At that, the damned erection popped up again. _Hell…_

She's growin' up so fast  
It won't be long before  
I'll have to put the fear of god into  
Some kid at the door

I pulled up at Alice and Jasper's and ushered the girls into the house to play with the other kids. I took a deep breath and opened the door to the backyard where Edward and Jasper were already waiting.

"Hey guys, what's up?" I said as I made my way over to the fence line.

"Are you okay Em?" Edward asked immediately.

"I'm fine? Why? Do I not look fine? Why would you ask me if I were fine?" _Shit, shit, shit! They know something is up!_

"You're just walking funny. You seem like you are moving your hips weird." _Fuck, got to get my manly walk down._

"Uh, slept in the guestroom. I guess it has my back a little out of whack."

"Yeah, man how is all that? You two were throwing around some serious shit last night." Edward asked.

"We're uh…working on it."

"So, did you get to watch any of the game last night?" Jasper mumbled under his breath.

I didn't _think _Emmett had watched the TiVo'ed game last night, so I winged it. "No, I heard they won though."

"And…"

"And what?"

"And how come you are not rubbing my face in it? I have been dreading listening to your

'Titans are the best' bullshit all morning and you haven't even mentioned it."

"Well I just got here so…"

"So here is your money. I fucking hope Alice doesn't find out or she'll have my balls in a sling." He passed me ten crisp one hundred dollar bills. I wasn't sure whether to be ecstatic with the money or pissed Emmett had bet a thousand dollars on a football game.

My inner greed won out and I went for ecstatic as I let out a piercing shriek. "Eeeeee! I can't believe I won a thousand dollars. That pair of Jimmy Choo's at Nordstrom are mine!"

Both guys looked at me like I had grown a set of antennas out of my forehead. Quickly I composed myself and tried to cover my tracks.

"I mean uh… those shoe thingies Rose has been wanting, uh… maybe I can buy them for her. You know as a makeup gift."

I took the wad of bills and carefully folded them. I pulled at the neck to my jersey and stuck my hand in trying to find my bra so that I could stick them inside of it. _Fuck, No bra, _I thought as I jerked the neck out even further, desperately searching for my tits. I looked up to see Edward's mouth hanging open and Jasper scratching his head.

"Whatever dude. You told me you were going to try and go see a Titans' game in person if you won."

"Well, my wife is more important dickwad." I snapped at him. "You would be wise to remember that when it comes to Alice ."

"I'm out here building a fence for her precious yorkie, Chanel, on my day off aren't I?"

"Where is the little mongrel anyway?" I asked with a little snarl. I hated the little shit.

"I put her up and what's your deal, you usually love her. Rose is the only one she hates."

_Crap, another thing I have to be careful about. _"Uh …just didn't want her to get in the way. So what do you want me to do?"

"Start laying out the boards while I run the level string."

I picked up a large bundle of boards and started carrying them across the yard. _Man does he have some muscles._ Images of his strong arms on each side of me, as we made love, flashed across my brain. Suddenly, little Em decided to make another appearance. _Damn, does it get hard at everything? Think of naked daddy, think, think._

"So, Emmett, have you thought about our bet?"

"Our bet?"

"Yeah, you know whichever team won last night; the winner would get to make the loser wear the other's team garb. So did you bring me a jersey to wear to the office tomorrow?"

"How did you know that's what I was going to do?" I asked.

"Man, it's what we always do."

_Hmmm, this could be extremely interesting. _A plan began to formulate in my head. Something Emmett would be _very _proud of.

"Well_ bro, _I think we will may it a little more exciting this time. You will wear the Titans outfit that I pick out to Hooters tomorrow night. I'll have it delivered to the office."

"What outfit?"

An evil grin spread across my face. "You'll see."

About that time the backdoor opened and Chanel came running out. She immediately went to Edward and he picked her up, scratching her behind the ears. He let her down and she ran over to me.

Slowly she circled, sniffing around my feet and then she went into complete hysterics - barking and growling at my feet. _Little bitch could sense it was me. _We had a hate/hate relationship since the moment Alice had gotten her and she had chewed the strap off my Dooney & Burke handbag during a play date.

"Jazz, get this dog away from me!"

"Chanel, bad girl!" he said as he bent down to grab her. "Sorry Em, she never acts that way except around Rose." He took her back inside and shut the door.

"Okay men, boards are laid out, the runners are up, and it's time to fire up the tools!"

He handed me a power tool that was shaped somewhat like a gun with a trigger. I turned it round in my hands trying to figure out what in the hell I was supposed to do now.

Suddenly my finger hit the trigger and a nail shot out flying right past Edward's head.

"WHAT THE FUCK EMMETT! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?" he screamed.

"Uh sorry, guess it slipped?"

"Maybe you should just hold the boards while we nail? You just don't seem like yourself today." Jasper said as he carefully took the nail gun from my hands.

Four hours later, I was covered in sawdust and sweat and every part of my body was sore.

I turned to survey our handiwork as Jasper came and clapped me on the shoulder.

"Whatcha think? Pretty good, huh? I figure three more Sundays and we should have it finished."

_Three more Sundays of this? _

_Fuck…I'm in hell_.


	3. Chapter 3: Monday

**Disclaimer: We don't own it. 'Nuff said. **

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**Emmett POV**

The alarm clock buzzed and I let out a little growl. Monday morning. Shit. Another work week…then it hit me. I didn't _have _to do anything today! I was in Rose's body. I could do nothing like she does all day as long as I get dinner ready for tonight and keep the kids happy and clean enough. Happy day.

I turned over to find Rosalie already up and out of bed. "Ro?" I asked softly. We had been careful not to actually speak one another's names in front of the kids in case we slipped.

"In here." She said from the closet. She breezed out minutes later and said, "I've laid out your clothes as well as gotten together some things you'll need for today. I made a list and gotten all the stops lined up in order to save you time after you drop Hope off and…"

"Whoa…hold on Rosie. What do you mean? Don't I just drop her off and bring Faith back here?"

She let out an indignant snort. "Yeah. Right. I have to pick up the dry cleaning and go to the grocery store for the week and run by the post office, drop off the stuff to goodwill, and hopefully get back in time for Faith to have her nap, otherwise she'll be crabby the rest of the afternoon. She sleeps from one to two, then you have to wake her up, get Hope, take her to gymnastics and then come back here in time for dinner."

My mouth fell open.

She smirked. "I've made a list of all of our meals for the week. I decided to go easy on you tonight, spaghetti. I made a complete list of things we need from the grocery store. You are not allowed to eat more than one small bread plate full of noodles and sauce. No bread. No desserts."

"But Rosie…" I freakin' loved garlic bread.

"That is my ass you will be putting calories on and if you enjoy it the shape and size it is I suggest you treat it with the proper respect. Besides, you should probably learn to cut back yourself some big guy," She said as she pinched a non-existent piece of fat on the side of my body.

"Hey! No fair! I may eat like a fucking pig, but I work out every damned day before I leave the office!" It was true. I worked out every day from four to five. I was strict about that shit.

She rolled her eyes. "You should have my ass in there at the gym also, but I'll be lenient on you today because you couldn't handle it. Besides, I don't want you to make an ass out of me at my Pilates class."

I had the urge to tell her where to stick her Pilates class, but thought better of it. Huh. Maybe she does do more than I originally thought…

She handed me the lists and kissed my cheek. "You need to get busy. It's almost time to get the girls ready."

"What should I…?"

She smirked. "I left directions on your makeup and clothes in the bathroom. Bye!" And with that, she sailed out of our bedroom door. Why did I have the feeling I had just been abandoned?

I hurriedly dressed in some fairly comfortable clothing for once and put on the minimal makeup as instructed before I went into each child's room waking them.

"Mommy?" Hope asked softly as she stretched.

"Yes sweetie?"

"How come you didn't sing our morning song?"

_Morning song? We didn't do it on the weekends._ I thought fast. "Well, why don't you do it?" I offered.

She grinned. "Okay. Let's go wake up Faith!"

I followed her down to her sister's room and she said, "Good morny-morny-morning!" To which Faith answered, "Morning!" They sang it back and forth a few times and I couldn't help but smile. Damn, my kids were cute. And Rosie was too for coming up with a 'good morning song'.

"Alright kids, let's get you ready."

Hope looked at me like I'd grown an extra head. "Mommy. We always eat before we get dressed."

"We do?" I asked. _I wonder why? _

She nodded her tiny little dark head. "Un-hun. Because we might spill."

_Oh…that did make sense._ "Well, right you are. Let's go." I picked Faith up out of her crib and together we walked downstairs. Okay…I consulted my list. We had plenty of time to get ready. I sat Faith in her booster seat and said, "So…what do we want today?"

I eyeballed the list of foods I was to eat for the day. A half a grapefruit and a piece of wholegrain toast? Yuck. But since I didn't want my ass handed to me by my wife, I fixed my meal.

My little country gals liked grits, so I fixed that for them, eyeballing it hungrily, and then managed to get half a banana and some O.J. into each of them. _Not too shabby McCarty. _Unfortunately, they both ended up wearing about half their food and grits stick like a son of a bitch.

So upstairs we went where we tried to sandblast the grits off. Then we were running late. Hope couldn't find her other boot, I had no idea in _hell _what to do with her hair, and Faith fell down, scraping her knee on one of the blocks she tripped over in her room.

So I was more than stressed by the time we made it out the door…when I realized I forgot my shopping list. I buckled them both in, put on the DVD to Jay-Jay the Jet Plane, and ran back inside. Then the phone rang and I said to hell with it and didn't answer it.

I raced back to the car and made it to Hope's school just as the rest of the kids were walking in. "Cutting it close this morning, aren't we Rosalie?" Irina, Hope's kindergarten teacher asked. At least I knew the woman's name.

I let out a giggle. "Yes, had a busy weekend."

She ran her tongue over her teeth. "If I had a man like Emmett I would stay busy all weekend with him too."

My inner chest puffed with pride. "Well, he is quite a catch." I said.

"Bye Mommy!" Hope said.

"Bye sweetie!" I called, blowing her a kiss. I pulled away and looked at Faith in the rearview mirror. "Ready to hit the grocery store babe?"

She giggled and we were off.

If only I had been better prepared. It seemed as though she didn't like the grocery store, didn't want to ride in a cart, and the only cart she _did _want to ride in was the one with the fucking truck attached to the front of it that another little boy was riding in…and stuck his tongue out at Faith when she cried.

Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, I forgot the damned purse in the car, had to run back outside while there were five people behind me and our shopping cart was filled to the damned brim and everyone, from bagger, to cashier to patrons were giving me the stink eye as I ran to the SUV with my screaming child in tow.

We finally managed to make it out of there, only for me to realize I didn't see the _back _of the fucking list. _Hell with it. I ain't going back in there today. I'll do it tomorrow. _

I got us home just as twelve thirty rolled around. I managed to fix Faith a peanut butter sandwich, _light _on the peanut butter, as directed, a cup of applesauce, that she dumped all over herself, then she was cleaned up and put down for her nap.

I collapsed onto the chair, only to remember that I forgot the dry cleaning, the post office, and goodwill. _Maybe after I get Hope…_I dozed off, exhausted by the morning, forgetting to even eat my meager salad.

The telephone woke me at two fifteen and I cursed a blue streak when I realized I was running late again. I raced upstairs, gathered Faith, who was irritated I had woken her. Apparently I shouldn't have just snatched her out of bed.

I grabbed Hope's gym bag, her snacks, which we were providing today for the whole class, along with the juice boxes and hauled ass back to the school. I ended up at the back of the line and growled until it was my turn. Irina was there again. "Having a rough day?" She asked me.

"You don't know the half of it." I told her honestly.

Hope jumped in and Irina buckled her into her booster seat. Then we were off once more, this time heading for her gymnastics class. We made it there just in time for me to change her into her purple leotard. She was all but vibrating with excitement ala Alice as she ran off to begin the warm up portion of her lesson with the class.

"Good afternoon Mrs. McCarty!" A pretty teenager said.

My eyebrow rose. Now, I knew I was a happily married man, and I also knew this chick was jailbait…but seeing her in that fucking leotard…well, it made me _very _glad I didn't have a cock at the moment because it would have been standing at fucking attention. "Hello." I said cheerfully, pointedly _not _staring at the girl's nipples straining the fabric. _I'm in hell, I'm in hell, I'm in hell…_

Then, thankfully, Alice showed with Reagan and we made polite small-talk while the girls did their stuff. "Rosalie?"

"Huh?" I asked as Hope stood on the balance beam. She was really quite good.

"Are you alright?"

I blinked and looked at her. "Uh…well, yeah. I'm okay."

"We didn't get to talk yesterday. Did you and Emmett work through everything from Saturday night?"

I sighed, because truthfully, we hadn't. "No. Not yet."

"Oh honey," She said as she wrapped her small arms around me. It felt nice, and I wasn't quite sure how it happened, but I started to cry. Damn. Chick hormones.

"Let it out," She said softly.

I did cry until Faith said, "Mommy sad?"

I picked her up and held her to me. I'd had the day from hell, I was stuck in my wife's body and I was crying like a fucking chick. "No baby, Mommy's fine."

_If only that were true… _

**ROSE POV**

I grabbed the keys to the jeep and practically ran out the door. It was time my husband found out what I did while he was at work. He was in for a rude awakening. He seemed to think my day consisted of sitting my ass on the couch, popping bon-bons and watching Jerry Springer.

I silently laughed to myself. What I would give to have a video camera on him while he did the grocery shopping. Little did he know that Faith's favorite game was to throw things from the cart just so she could watch me pick them up again. Let's see how he likes shopping with a two year old.

The thought of Faith jerked me back to reality. _Shit!_ I forgot to tell him about taking my birth control pill. Even though we had briefly talked about having another child, there was no way I could handle another one by myself right now. Emmett was a wonderful father when it came to playtime and spoiling, but he always seems to leave all the discipline and work for me.

I grabbed for my cell phone and realized it was in my purse at home – along with everything else. _How do guys just get by with only a wallet?_ Even though I technically didn't need it, I felt somewhat naked without my bag. I basically carried my life around in that purse. I sure as hell hoped if he took it with him he would keep up with it.

I made a mental note to call as soon as I got to work.

A few minutes later I pulled into the office building and made my way upstairs. Jamie, Emmett's assistant met me at the door with a cup of coffee and a handful of messages.

"Jamie, what a fabulous pair of shoes, are those Manolo Blahniks?"

"Uhh… no, well sort of, they're knock offs. Are you feeling alright?"

_Shit! Change the subject and Fast!_ "I'm fine. Is there anything I need to know about this morning?"

"Your three o'clock cancelled. Your one o'clock has been moved to two. And the blue prints for the arts center have been delayed. Also, Mr. Hale wants to see you in his office as soon as you arrived."

"Thank you. Will you buzz my father's office and tell him I will be there in just a moment?"

"You mean your father-in-law, don't you?"

"Uh…of course. I just need to make a quick phone call home."

I shut the door to the office and took a few deep breaths. _Come on Rose, you can do this._ How hard can his life be? I handled the whole office scene fine my first year- _get your shit together._

I picked up the phone and dialed the home number. _Ring, Ring, Ring_… nothing.

Well, he was doing better than I thought. He had actually made it out the door on time.

I hung up the receiver and got ready to try his cell, when the intercom buzzed again.

"Mr. McCarty, they are waiting for you_." I guess it will have to wait_. I made a quick note on a pad to call later.

I rode the elevator to the top floor, stopping to check myself in a hall way mirror. I felt a hand clamp my shoulder as I turned to see Jasper standing there.

"Stop primping and let's get going. I saw James high tail it up here as soon as he walked in the door this morning. If we're not careful he'll have his lips so far up Mike Newton's ass we won't even get to pitch an idea."

We made our way into the office and I caught sight of my step-brother James huddling with my father. How lucky was I that my father had divorced my mother and not only did I get a thirty-six year old surgically enhanced Barbie doll with the IQ of a corn nut for a stepmother but also her suck ass son? The gods must have been smiling on me that day.

He gave me a sneer as I walked into the room. "So nice of you to finally join us, Emmett. Walter and I have been waiting."

"I'm sorry, I thought our meeting was at nine-thirty and it's just…" I glanced down at my watch. "Eight-thirty now."

"Perhaps you should check your messages better. We needed to move it to accommodate Mr. Newton's busy schedule." _Fucking prick_. I knew I had glanced through the stack Jamie had given me and there was nothing about a change in time.

"Well, I'm here now," I said as I shook Mike's hand, not even belaying the disgust I felt for the jackass that tried to land every girl in school before Jessica got her turn. "Let's get down to business."

My father shot me a look of disgust. "James and I have been going over some ideas for the store. _WE_ both feel that it would be profitable to have a warehouse type setting. No fancy shelving, elaborate displays - just lots of bulk product and economical prices."

Jasper shot me a quizzical look as if he wanted me to say something. I racked my brain. Emmett and I had briefly discussed the store after the shower last night however I was so tired I had barely paid attention. I gave Jasper a dumbfounded look.

"Emmett and I have been thinking of another direction ever since we heard about the land purchase. _WE _were thinking of having the outside sort of resemble a rustic lodge. As far as the inside we were proposing having a large fish tank, maybe a huge stone fireplace, even an old timey shooting gallery for the kids. Something that would make you want to bring the entire family when you shop. We took the liberty of preparing a few rough sketches."

He pulled out a stack of prints and laid them on the table. I surveyed them along with everyone else – they were fantastic. Even my aversion to the outdoors would make me want to go look around.

"These are unbelievable." I said noticing the detail put into each sketch.

"They should be – you drew them." Jasper answered.

_Emmett drew these? I knew he was talented, but…wow._

"Well I believe we have given Mr. Newton some things to think about. Perhaps we can meet next week and see if you have made a decision."

Mike nodded. "That would be fine. I'll have my secretary call and schedule a meeting. Mr. Hale it was a pleasure to meet you."

"I'll see you out Mike." I told him.

Jasper, Mike and I started down in the elevator. I really wanted to try and push our idea one more time but before I could speak, Mike turned to me.

"Emmett, would you please tell Rosalie thank you for Jessica's baby shower yesterday. It meant a lot that she was involved."

"I will be glad to. I would like to discuss the plans…"

"I hate to pry, but is everything okay with you and Rose? Jessica said she was acting strange yesterday. I know you two had quite a fight at Esme Cullen's party Saturday night."

_Nosy bastard! Like he cared about either one of us._ Quickly I tried to think of something that would explain Emmett's behavior. What do most men like to blame women's problems on?

"What can I say – PMS? You know how crazy women get on their period."

He gave me a strange look as the door opened. "See you guys later. I'll be considering all the ideas."

"Well that could have gone better. Newton is probably too narrow minded to even consider our pitch."

"Yeah, we are never going to be able to design the way we want while we work for Mister "cheap is better" Hale. Have you thought anymore about us opening our own firm?"

I knew it was what he wanted but it was such a big risk. "Uh, no. I don't know how Rose would take it."

"You need to grow a set and tell her that you are tired of working for her fat fuck father. Geez Em, he has no vision. Everything that has even an ounce of creativity – he shoots down. Not to mention James. I will be damned if that two faced lying sack of shit is going to be my boss! You know Peterson is retiring next month. Who do you think is going to get his Vice President position?"

"It should be Emm… I mean me. I have the seniority. I have busted my ass here since I got out of school."

"Don't hold your breath. Unless of course you want to change your name and attach your lips permanently to Walter's ass."

A low growl erupted from my lips. My step-brother in his quest to claim the entire Hale Architecture Firm had gone as far as to change his name to James Denali-Hale. He had also named his son Walter Hale Junior. My father had just eaten that shit up. He finally got the 'son' he always wanted. I felt my blood start to boil.

"Calm down, big boy. Rose will kill me if you have an aneurism. I'll meet you for lunch at twelve."

I went back to my office and noticed there was a whole stack of messages and papers piled on my desk. I started at the top and never lifted my head until Jasper knocked on the door.

"Come on – lunch time."

"Go ahead. I have got too much work to do."

"You are passing up lunch? Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. I just need to get this work done. I have to take off a half day tomorrow. Em…I mean Rose and I have something we need to try and fix."

"Okay, but I'll have Jamie get you something. We are doing free weights this afternoon. So I'll see you at the gym - four o'clock."

Thirty minutes later I was staring at the bag in front of me – McDonalds. I had not eaten anything besides a salad from there in years. I opened it up and I was assaulted with the smell of fattening food. I laid out the meal in front of me, eyeing the Big Mac, large fries, apple pie and large coke. Surely just a couple of nibbles couldn't hurt. I opened the box and took a bite. _Oh God, I've died and gone to fast food heaven._ Five minutes later I had consumed the entire meal.

The rest of the afternoon passed in a rush. I had just finished my last appointment when the door opened and in walked my father, flanked of course, by James.

"Emmett, we need to have a little talk. Newton 's Outfitters has the potential to be a huge money maker for this firm. I want you to stop talking about your fancy designs and push the one James came up with."

"Are you serious? Another cookie cutter building like all the others we have been cranking out lately. Don't you want to do something that makes a statement?"

"Listen hillbilly," James jumped in. "We are in business to make money. With my design we can construct it quickly and move on to the next project. Faster turnover, less material, more profit for Hale Architecture."

"I'll show you hillbilly, you slimy little fuck!" I came from behind my desk hoping that at least some of Em's fighting skills would come naturally because I was fixing to tear him a new asshole.

"ENOUGH!" My father roared. "Emmett you will support this design to Mike Newton. In fact, I want you to tell Rose to call his wife, invite her to lunch, and get her on board."

I was fixing to tell him exactly where he could put his fucking lame design when Jamie walked in holding a garment bag.

"Oh I'm sorry. This was delivered and I thought you might want it in here. Please excuse the interruption Mr. Hale."

I noticed my father eyeing her, his tongue slowly licking his lips. My lip curled automatically at his blatant display.

"That's alright sweetheart. You know, I may need a new assistant soon. Perhaps you could come to my office after work tonight so we could - _discuss_ it."

She looked like she was on the verge of vomiting. I saw her take a deep breath as she composed herself. "Thank you for the offer Mr. Hale, but I am quite happy working for Mr. McCarty."

"Well if you change your mind you know where to find me – top floor." She turned to leave and he gave her ass a smack. I saw her shudder and it was all I could do to keep myself from smacking that nasty smirk off his pudgy face.

"Remember what I said Emmett. I want that contract." He growled.

I waited until he had time to get back to his office and then asked Jamie to come back in. She looked like she had been crying.

"Jamie are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Why did you let him talk to you like that?" I asked her gently.

"Not to be disrespectful but I could ask you the same thing."

"Well…"

"Mr. McCarty I need this job. I have a daughter to support. If putting up with some innuendos and an ass grab is what I have to do then I can handle it. At least you're respectful. I heard James is working his way through the secretarial pool, promising them all administrative positions that they are never going to get."

"You mean James is screwing around on his wife Victoria?"

"With anything that has two legs – and I do mean _ANYTHING_."

"Thank you Jamie and please just call me Emmett."

"Are you sure? You were worried your wife might get the wrong idea."

"Why in the world would I get the wrong idea about that?"

She gave me a funny look and I realized my mistake.

"What I meant was…"

"You said you never wanted her to question your loyalty. Especially with all the guys who screw around on their wives. You said she was the most important thing in the world to you, always has been, always will be."

"I said that?"

"You most certainly did. I hope your wife knows how lucky she is to have you." She gave me a knowing smile and for some reason I wondered if she knew my secret.

"I think she is beginning to realize it."

"Well, good for her. Now I have your schedule clear for the entire day tomorrow. So don't even bother coming in. You just get things taken care of with your _wife._"

"I'm going to try." I said softly as she walked out.

An hour later I was ready to go to the gym. I stopped at Jamie's desk and dropped a letter off. "Would you send this down to HR in the morning?"

"Sure- what is it?"

"A request for a raise - for you. I have a daughter too. We…parents have to stick together."

"Thank you so much, Emmett."

"By the way, there is a drawer in my desk that is locked. You wouldn't happen to know where the key is do you?"

"Um… no sir. Maybe you should check _your_ key ring."

"Uh…yes, you're right. I'll do that Wednesday. See you then."

I grabbed the garment bag from earlier and made my way downstairs to the gym. Luckily no one was in the locker room so I was able to change in privacy.

I walked out and met Japer at the machines.

"So how was the rest of your day?" He lay down and started lifting a large bar with weights on each end. Up, down – his muscles straining with the weight. Damn, he was great looking. I felt my erection start to grow. _Fuck_! The one thing I did not need was Emmett's best friend to see my raging hard on. I imagined my father licking his lips at Jamie earlier and I felt it start to deflate.

"Just great!" I said with a snarl. "Walter informed me we are to push James' design to Newton ."

"I knew he wouldn't even consider our proposal."

"Then he had the nerve to hit on Jamie." Yup. I was still pissed at my father. I mean, I knew he was a pig, but to see it firsthand…

"That's nothing he made a pass at Alice last week when she brought me lunch."

My mouth fell open stupidly. "He didn't? I can't believe she didn't tell me."

"Huh? Why would she tell you?"

I blinked. "I mean, I can't believe Rose didn't tell me."

"Rose doesn't know. Alice did not want to upset her."

"The only thing she would be upset about is her fuckwad father hitting on her best friend!"

"Well, I was about to go beat the shit out of him myself but Alice wouldn't let me. She didn't want me to get fired with the new ba…" He trailed off holding the bar above his head. Obviously I was supposed to be helping him put the bar on the rack. I grabbed it and looked down to see him staring at me

"The new what?"

"Shit, I wasn't supposed to tell anybody. She wanted to surprise everybody at her birthday party Wednesday night. Alice is pregnant again."

"Oh my God! She didn't think she would be able to have another baby after all the trouble she had with Reagan." I felt happiness course through my body. She had been so upset when the doctors told her they were sure she would never get pregnant again. Unfortunately, in my excitement I forgot I was spotting Jasper as I let the weight bar fall to his chest.

"UH...fuck, Em! Help!!"

"Oh man, sorry." I said as I lifted the weight off of him.

"Where has your brain been lately?"

"I said I was sorry. I just have so much on my mind."

We worked out for the next hour. My muscles were aching and sore. It was clear how Emmett could eat like a pig and not gain any weight if he worked his body like this every day.

The next thing I knew we were headed to the showers. _Oh shit!_

"You know, Jazz. I think I'll just wait to shower when I get home."

"No way man. One - you smell, and two – I thought we were going to Hooters tonight."

Slowly I undressed being extra careful to only look ahead. I turned on the shower and tried to tune out Jasper's constant stream of chatter. All I wanted to do was hurry and get out of there. Suddenly, I heard the shower beside me come on and glanced over to see James beside me.

"So Emmett - sorry Walter shot down another one of your ideas. You do know he only keeps you around because of his daughter? As soon as he gives me that VP position, I am going to try and convince him to get rid of you. That goes for you too, Whitlock."

I turned to let out the string of profanities jamming my brain. Unfortunately when I did I happened to glance down to his virtually nonexistent penis. Loud laughter erupted from my mouth and echoed through the showers.

"You fucking queer. Are you looking at my dick?"

"I don't know? Is that what it is? It looks more like a Vienna sausage."

I looked down to the monster between my legs. _Yes, I am indeed a lucky woman_. I flipped off the water and wrapped a towel around my waist.

"Dude, what is up with you? Number one cardinal guy rule – you never check out another guy's package in the shower or when you are taking a piss."

"Well then I should be okay because no one I know would classify that cocktail weenie between his legs as a package."

I turned my back and quickly put my clothes on. According to Alice , Jasper had quite a bit more to look at and damn if I wanted to take the chance of checking out my best friend's husband.

"So do you have my 'outfit' for tonight?"

"Sure do. It's in this bag. You may want to go into a changing room though."

He grabbed the bag and flipped me off as he made his way to an unoccupied room. A few moments later I heard what I had been waiting for; "NO…NO…NO…Fuck NO, Emmett! I am not fucking wearing this to Hooters!"

"Yes you are - a bet's a bet. Now come out."

He opened the door and there in all his glory was Jasper Whitlock in a Titan's cheerleader uniform.

"Emmett you cannot expect me to go out like this."

"I can and you will. Teach you to diss my team. Now let me use your cell, I need to call Rose."

I punched in the number and waited. I needed to figure out a way to get Emmett there so he could check out my handiwork.

"Hello"

"Uh… hey, babe. I wanted to call and tell you to not worry about dinner. I am going with the guys to Hooters for a while. I thought maybe you…"

"Oh no you don't! There is no way you are going to Hooters with my friends. You give me shit every time I even mention it. You will get your ass home right NOW!!" And then he hung up on me. _That little shit!_

"Well, I may have to wear a skirt tonight but at least I wear the pants in my family." Jasper taunted.

"I wouldn't let the fairy here you talk that shit – especially with all those pregnancy hormones. She may rip off your dick and make you wear a skirt from now on."

"So are you going or not?"

"Oh I'll be there. And you better still have that outfit on."

I ran out the door and drove as fast as I could to our house. I threw open the door to chaos and *sniff* Smoke!

"Is everything okay? I smell smoke." I asked as I all but ran into the kitchen.

"No, it is not okay." My voice rang back to me. "I have spaghetti sauce all over me. The noodles are just one big clump and I burned the bread."

"Daddy, you're home." Hope squealed as she ran into the kitchen.

"Oh baby, I missed you so much." I said, stooping to pick her up for a huge Emmett-sized hug.

"Hope, did you pick up all the Barbie clothes like I told you to?"

"But Mommy…" I remembered what I had said to Emmett just a few nights earlier.

"Hope, go to your room right now and get all your toys picked up or no bedtime snack."

"But Daddy, I missed you." I felt my resolve start to crumble. Then I glanced up at my husband, stuck in my body. He looked like he wanted to cry.

"Hope, toys, now."

"Em?" I asked softly as Hope trudged off, a bit of my temper coming out in her. I resisted the urge to giggle at her retreating form. I turned my attention back to my husband.

"How do you do it?" He asked, voice full of tears. "I can't. It's too much."

"It takes practice. Now go get changed. We are going out to dinner."

I quickly changed and got the girls ready. I made a call to Alice and told her to get Reagan ready, that we were all going out to dinner - and to bring her camera.

Fifteen minutes later we were sitting in the parking lot of Hooters.

"This is where you wanted to eat dinner at?" Emmett asked me.

"I have a surprise for you. Ali make sure you have your camera ready."

We walked in and found a large table near the bar.

"Okay, what's the big surprise, Emmett?"

I scanned the crowd. "Wait for it… wait for it… there."

"OH MY GOD! Is that Jasper in a cheerleader's outfit?"

"Sure is. I figured it was time to move past the jerseys."

"Emmett, I cannot believe you have my husband in drag at a Hooters' restaurant. You…you…you…just rock! OH JAZZY!" She yelled across the room.

He turned to see both our families and Alice snapping pictures as fast as her fingers could move.

"I told you I would be here." I stated proudly.

"Did you have to bring our families?" He asked, shamefaced.

I grinned. "Come on, we're all here. Let's just have some dinner."

He climbed up onto a stool and looked around the table.

"Uncle Jazz, why are you dressed like a cheerleader?" Hope asked.

"Well…"

"And where are your pom-poms? All cheerleaders are supposed to have pom-poms."

The whole table erupted into laughter. I gave each one of my daughters a quick kiss on the forehead. Faith looked back and forth between me and what she thought was her mommy.

"Daddy. Mommy sad."

"What sweetie?"

"Mommy sad."

I looked over and noticed Emmett meticulously folding and refolding the paper straw wrapper. I took his small hand in my large one and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"What? I had a rough day." He asked defensively.

"Me too and you know what - I'm starving. How about a big plate of wings?"

"How many can I have?" He whispered. "I didn't get to have any lunch."

"Baby, you can have as many as you want. Just remember that before you tell me my ass is getting big." I whispered back.

"Well, I am famished. Jazz I want cheese sticks too." Alice said

"No wonder, little mommy. Since you are eating for two."

She looked between me and Jazz and gave him a resounding smack on the back.

"Thanks, big mouth. I wanted it to be a surprise." She turned to Emmett. "Rose, I wanted to tell everyone at my birthday Wednesday night. I wasn't trying to keep it from you."

Emmett looked at her like she was speaking gibberish.

"Ali, Jazz was just so excited he let it slip you were _PREGNANT._"

Suddenly realization set in and Emmett got up and gave Alice a hug. "Oh Alice , congratulations. I know how excited you are."

" Alice , I hate to ask but I was wondering if you would mind picking up Hope from school tomorrow. Bella is going to watch Faith for a while. Rose and I have something we need to try and uh…work out."

She looked from me to Emmett and back. "Sure, no problem."

_I certainly hoped it wouldn't be for much longer. _


	4. Chapter 4: Tuesday

**Disclaimer: We don't own it. 'Nuff said. **

**AN: Another day in the life of our body swapped couple.**

**Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to review. It makes me giddy to hear how this story makes you laugh.**

**As always, a special thanks to our MasterBeta **_**Fiberkitty**_ **whose feedback is funnier than half the shit we write.**

**________________________________________________________________________**

**Emmett POV**

It was another day, Tuesday, and I was still laughing over what Rose had done to poor Jasper. Even _I _wouldn't have taken it that far. Well, maybe, if I had been devious enough to think it up. I mean, come _on. _That shit was priceless. I was all smiles as I made breakfast.

Rose came in and asked, "What's that smile for?"

I grinned. "For doing what you did to Jasper. That was genius."

She smiled. "Yeah, well, the stuff with the jerseys was getting old, so…"

I walked to her and pulled her into my arms. "I love you. I just want you to know that."

Her smile grew. "I love you too babe."

"Daddy! Why are you still here?" Hope asked as she ran into the room.

"What are you doing up already pumpkin?" Rose asked her.

"I smelled bacon!" Our daughter replied.

Rose shot me a look and I said quickly, "I'm not eating it, see?" as I held up my yogurt cup. "But I do know how to fix it. Besides…you can enjoy it, right?"

She looked at me in surprise for a minute before she grinned. "Yes I can."

"This is temporary." I reminded her. I looked at the bacon in longing before I picked up the yogurt again. The stuff wasn't _that _horrible. I guess if we managed to switch back I _should _try to cut down on some of the shit I ate.

"Emmett?" I asked, which was just so friggin' weird. Rose turned to me. "Want to wake up Faith for me?" I asked her. "We gotta be going before long you know."

Rose smiled happily. "Come on Hope. Let's get you dressed while we're upstairs, okay?"

Hope looked unsure, but I heard her whisper, "Think you can do a better job of my ponytail than Mommy did yesterday? Miss Denali had to re-fix it when I got to school."

I heard my voice say, "Honey, Mommy was having a really bad day yesterday. Let's…cut her some slack, okay?"

A pause, then, "What does that mean?" I heard my booming laugh as they went back up the stairs. I smiled and shook my head. "Really bad day" didn't exactly cover yesterday. Thank goodness today I'd have Rosie with me.

I had bacon, eggs, sunny side up, the way I knew Rosalie used to eat them, toast, and oatmeal waiting for my family when they returned. Rose looked at me in surprise when she saw the eggs. "You remembered." She whispered.

I smiled. "Yeah, I did. When you were pr-uh, yeah, when we were waiting for Hope to come you ate these every morning with me, right?"

She swallowed hard and nodded silently. She kissed my cheek and whispered, "Thank you," into my ear.

"Well, you're welcome. Now, let's hurry and eat! We have to get somebody to school!"

"That's me!" Hope cried, causing Rose and I to laugh.

We all dug in then, eating quickly. It didn't take me long to finish my whole grain toast so I got up and got Hope's lunch together.

We managed to get Hope dropped off at school and then went back home to plan out our day. "So…" I said as we walked in the door. I took off Faith's coat and she scampered into the playroom. "What's our plan of attack?"

Rose looked at me. "First off, you need to call Esme and find out who her caterer was."

"Me? Why?" I asked.

She sighed. "Because you're in my body nitwit!"

I winced. "Geez Rose. You ain't gotta snap at me."

She looked at me and started laughing.

"What?" I asked.

"I've never heard the word 'ain't' come out of my mouth before."

"Ha, ha." I told her dryly. "Give me the damn number."

She handed me a slip of paper and handed me the phone. "Don't screw that up Emmett."

I held up my hands. "How can I screw up a three minute conversation?" I looked at her. "Never mind. Don't answer that." I dialed the number and it just rang for a moment before a voice answered the phone.

"Esme?" I asked.

"Yes, this is she."

"Hi, it's Rosalie Hale McCarty, how are you?" _See, I can do this. _

"Yes, hello Rose. What can I do for you today?"

"I, um…" Rose was distracting me, trying to 'coach' me on what to say, so I swatted her away. "I wondered if I could have a phone number of your caterer. I wanted to use them perhaps for my next party."

"Certainly dear. Hold on one moment, alright?"

"Thank you." I held onto the mouth piece and said, "I'm not fucking it up Ro. It's fine!"

She glared at me. I held up a hand as I heard Esme come back on the phone. "Here it is. "In Sheep's Clothing". It's owned by Emily Uley. I believe you've heard of her."

"Sure. Emily is a friend. I remember this one time she went str…"

Rose took the phone from me. "DON'T TELL HER THAT!" She whisper-yelled at me.

I snatched the phone back. "Yes, well, I need to go Esme. Faith's calling for me. Thank you. I hadn't realized Emily was the caterer. She wasn't there Saturday, was she?"

"No, she hasn't been feeling well with this pregnancy so she had her husband help her and I believe some of her nephews and cousins helped serve. You know she likes to keep it in the family if possible. "

_Bingo, _I thought. "Okay then. Thanks again." I hung up the phone and said, "Emily's family and friends worked it. We need to call her."

Rose glared at me. "Let me call Emily, okay? I'll pretend to be you and that you're going to surprise me with it or something."

"Fine." I said. "I'll just go check on Faith since she's playing in the other room." I stepped out of the office and walked into the girl's playroom. "Hey girl." I said.

She smiled. She had been attempting to build a block tower. Unfortunately, her chubby little fingers wouldn't work with her. "Want me to help?" I asked.

She nodded and I sat down cross-legged on the floor with her. "Daddy?" She asked.

I smiled. I guess what they say about kids and dogs is true. I winked at her. "Our little secret?" I asked.

She held out her pinky for pinkies swear. I tucked my finger into hers and we shook on it. "Now, let's build us a tower!" We played quietly for a few minutes before I heard a throat clear behind me.

I looked up and Rose said, "I found what we needed. Ready to go?"

I nodded. The sooner I got back into my body, the better off we would both be. I was tired of sitting when I had to piss. We dropped Faith off at Bella's and then headed over to Burger King where Seth worked.

"What's the plan Ro?" I asked her.

She fisted her hands, which, yeah, looking at my body from this side kinda made me see how intimidating I could be. "I'll handle this." She said.

I nodded. "By all means." I said as I opened the door for her. She marched up to the counter and said, "I need to see Seth."

The greasy-haired, pimply-faced kid behind the counter's eyes grew wide. "Seth! Yo dude! I need ya!"

Seth walked up behind us wheeling a mop and bucket. "Yeah?"

"Listen, dude," Rosie growled. "We need to talk."

"Okay." He said with a little shrug. "I'm takin' my break Eric. Be right back." Rose looked at me in surprise and I shrugged. I guess intimidation wouldn't work on a stoner. We followed him out back and he took a pull from his bottle of Mountain Dew. "You got somethin' to say?" He asked.

"Yeah." Rose said. Clearly, her intimidation skills needed work. Sure, she was fine in her own body, truthfully, she scared the bejesus out of me, but in my body, if it wasn't for her, or rather _my _size, she wouldn't be scary at all.

"So, talk." Seth said.

Then my Rosie surprised me. She grabbed him by the neck and pushed him up against the wall. "Listen here you little doped up convict. We need to know what the hell you put in those damned brownies!"

"Whoa, whoa big fella." He said. "Ever heard of 'roid rage? You gotta cut back on that shit."

"Why you little…" I started. I was sick to fucking death of hearing people talk about how I took steroids. Just because we bred 'em big in Tennessee didn't mean I took that shit. The only drugs that had ever entered my body were processed meats and ibuprofen. I didn't even take pain killers the time I fell and broke my leg when I was sixteen.

Rose held up a hand. "Enough bullshit buddy. We need information. Because of you we've fucking switched bodies!"

He stared at her and blinked. "What the fuck are you talking about? That shit was hash brownies not no mumbo jumbo crap."

"Way wrong answer." She growled. Okay, I take back my previous statement. Rosalie was just as scary in my body as she was in hers. I was kind of afraid for the littler guy.

She pulled back a fist and I had to admit, I got a bit turned on by the fact of her actually going to hit a guy. Then he said, "Okay! Okay! Look, I thought that shit was hash…I stole it off my grandfather. He takes that shit for glaucoma or some shit. I picked some up and baked it in."

Rosalie groaned. "So you have no idea _what _the hell you put in them, do you?"

"N-no." He answered.

She looked at me. "And _this _is our future. Fucking perfect!"

"Ro," I said as I walked over to her. "Just calm down, okay?"

"No Em! I don't WANT to be in your body! I want to be me again! I want to have play dates with Bella and Alice and coo over her pregnancy and…and…"

I pulled her to me, even though hugging my body was almost difficult to do. "It'll be okay." I whispered.

"No it won't!" She wailed and it was quite pathetic to see a huge man crying.

"Please don't cry baby…it's bad for my image."

That did it, and she started laughing. I smiled and kissed her. "Look, maybe we'll get this situated, okay?"

She nodded. I turned to Seth and said, "Do you think your grandfather can help us or something?"

He frowned. "I don't know. He can't see for shit now."

I glared at him. "Last time I checked, the old bastard didn't need eyes to tell us what we needed to do to fix ourselves."

"Okay." Seth said cheerfully. "I'll call him. Lemme get your number and I'll let you know what he says."

My eyebrow shot up. "Why don't you give me _your _number and we'll call _you._"

"Uh, yeah man, or, uh, whatever you are. That'd work."

I sighed. _Please, if there's a God up there…don't let my daughters marry anything like this. _I took his cell phone from him and programmed his number into Rosalie's Blackberry. I then threw his phone back at him. "Here. We'll be in touch Clearwater ."

He nodded. "Yeah. I'll, uh, I'll ask him." He stepped back into the building and I looked at Rose. She looked close to tears again. "Come on babe, let's get you a Whopper. That'll help ya. And I'll get a salad and we can just chill out a bit, okay?"

She nodded and I led her back to the car. We drove through the window and I ordered our food. I looked longingly at the onion rings, Double Whopper and Vanilla milkshake she was eating as I nibbled on my side salad with fat free dressing. I swore, if we switched back, I'd make her eat more. I didn't care if she gained some weight. She deserved to reward herself more than she did. Besides, a little cushion for the pushin' wouldn't bother me one bit.

We finished our meal and she said, "Crap Em. We've gotta go buy Alice something for her party."

My eyebrow shot up. Normally Rose was way more prepared than this. I guess it was true that I wasn't helping out around the house like I should. Then and there I promised to also help her more than I had been. "Okay Rosie. I hate to say it, but let's go to the mall."

**RPOV**

We made our way to the mall and I internally chided myself for not already having this taken care of. Usually I would have had it bought, wrapped and waiting at least a week before needed. At least I had an idea of what I wanted. It had become a tradition between us three girls that birthdays were a time to exchange lingerie. We figured we came into this world naked, so we should get a birthday gift that – with help from our hubbies- could get us the same way again.

I stopped in front of the bright pink storefront and felt Emmett pull on my hand.

"Aw shit Rose , Victoria Secret? Do we have to shop here?"

"Yes we do. This is Alice 's favorite store. So suck it up and let's find something."

We made our way inside and I immediately headed to the corset and panty sets. I was admiring a beautiful emerald green one that I knew would be perfect for Alice when I heard a couple of salesgirls giggling behind the counter.

"What is she doing?" The tiny brunette whispered to the busty blonde beside her.

"I'm not sure. Hell, I'm not even sure it's legal."

I looked around to find the source of their gossip and that's when I saw it. _My_ husband. In _my_ body. Feeling up the scantily clad mannequin. Like some sort of sick pervert. He was steadily going from one display to the next, running his hands along the fiberglass bottoms, and sticking his hands down inside the bra encased breasts.

I ran to where he was standing and jerked him around so he was facing me. He seemed to be staring straight past me in some sort of lust induced coma.

"Emmett McCarty, what the hell are you doing?" I furiously whispered as I drug him towards the dressing rooms. "Were you actually trying to cop a feel from a mannequin – in my body no less?"

I gave him a gentle shake as he snapped back to reality.

"Sorry, Rosie. I was just imagining you in all those sexy numbers and I just spaced out for a minute."

"Well stop! You are making me look like a fucking lesbian with a dummy fetish. Please, just sit here in the dressing room until I'm finished."

Thirty minutes later I had finally found the perfect outfit for Alice 's birthday. I made my way back to the dressing room to retrieve Emmett when I noticed the door was closed.

"Em?" I whispered. "Are you in there?"

I heard the door unlock and I slowly cracked it open. The entire dressing room was filled with every imaginable kind of lingerie. He was staring at himself in the mirror, a bright blue teddy barely covering my ample assets.

"Babe, I cannot believe all the sexy shit they have here. Look," he said while thrusting a pair of panties at me. "Crotch less panties."

"Emmett, all I asked was that you sit and wait for me."

"I got bored. Besides if I am going to be in your body for a while, I want to be one hot MILF. Let me change and we can check out."

I let out a quiet sigh as I made my way to the counter. _At least he has decent taste._ Moments later he was beside me with both arms full of clothes

"I need all of these." He said as he dropped them on the counter. I pawed through the mound inspecting each piece. "Good Lord, Em. You have a fortune here. And you definitely don't have to have these." I said picking up a tiny red g-string between my fingers.

He snatched it and began to twirl it on his pointer finger. "Yes, I do. They are sexy as hell."

"Okay, but don't come crying to me when you're tired of having a piece of dental floss up your ass."

I grabbed my purse from his shoulder so I could get my Angel credit card and I noticed he had failed to fasten several of the buttons on my shirt.

"Babe, you missed some buttons." I whispered as I leaned over to close my shirt.

"Oh no I didn't. These puppies are just too good to keep under wraps. If you got 'em flaunt 'em baby!"

The small brunette from earlier shot both of us a strange look. I opened my mouth hoping I could come up with some sort of explanation for our weird behavior but she spoke before I could.

"Thank you Mr. and Mrs. McCarty. I hope you both enjoy your purchases."

"We will but…"

"Please, first rule to working in a lingerie store - never question, only assist if needed. I hope you both have a pleasant day."

We grabbed the bags and hurried out the door. On the way out I noticed the baby store.

"Em, can we stop in here real fast? I want to get a little present for Alice 's baby."

"Sure."

We walked around the store and I felt a sense of longing as I picked up the tiny onesies.

"Look Emmett, do you remember when Faith could where something this small?"

"Yeah, I do. The girls are going to be grown before we know it."

I thought back to earlier this morning. Watching Emmett play with Faith made me realize that I needed to spend more time with her. Of course I didn't do it on purpose, but with Hope's gymnastics and school, not to mention everything else, I was not giving Faith the attention she deserved.

We walked around the corner and there on an end cap was a whole rack of tiny Titan baby clothes.

"Rosie, look. Can't you just see me and little Em dressed in our gear, watching the game?"

I _could _see it, and it didn't make the longing diminish. "Maybe one day, babe." I said gently. "I think we should worry about getting our bodies back first. Unless, of course, you are up to the challenge of carrying around a bowling ball in your stomach for nine months."

I saw him shudder. _Pussy. _It ought to be mandatory that all men should have at least one period and one month of pregnancy before they die.

I found an adorable yellow sleeper with a matching blanket and we headed to the checkout. Just as we got in line I saw Mike and Jessica Newton come in the front door.

"Shit, just the couple I wanted to see." I groaned. Emmett turned to see who I was talking about and I saw his face drop.

"I never did ask you how the meeting went yesterday." He said softly.

"Not so good. I don't think he is going to even give your idea a chance." I told him. "He is such a prick. Those plans you came up with…they were just unbelievable."

He shrugged. "It's okay. Jazz and I didn't expect him to. He has always been an ass. It doesn't surprise me he would fall in with your father and James."

I looked at the dejected expression on my face. He had worked so hard on those plans. I grabbed his hand and drug him over to the Newton 's.

"Jessica, Mike how nice to run into you." _Kiss_ _ass – come on do it for your husband._

"Uh… Hello, Emmett" She turned to my silent form. "Rosalie, shopping at the baby store - is there something we should know?"

"Just shopping for a friend." I blurted out. She gave me a pointed stare obviously trying to figure out why I was answering her question. I gave my arm a quick pinch pulling Emmett back into the conversation.

"Yes, a present for a friend. So Jessica, did Mike tell you about any of the plans for the new Outfitter's store?" Emmett asked.

"Sort of. I think we have decided to go with the warehouse idea, right babe?" She said as she turned to her husband.

"Yes, I think the more economical the better. Sorry, Em." He answered with the same stupid smirk he used to use on the skanks in high school. There was no way I was going to let this little Backstreet Boy wannabe with his overly spiky hair talk down to my husband.

"Doesn't surprise me. However, I did think your lovely wife would convince you otherwise." I turned and gave her Em's most seductive smile. "You always had such flair in school. I figured you would see the merit in having such a unique store."

"Why Emmett I didn't know you even remembered me from high school?" She batted her long fake eyelashes at me. _Bitch._

"Of course I remember. Especially that gorgeous mural you painted on the art room wall, who was it that helped you...?"

"Demetri Volturi."

"Right. Didn't he go into real estate or something?" I saw her starting to get nervous.

"Uh…maybe. It's not like we kept in touch or anything. Mike, we better get…"

"Oh, I thought I saw a car with his sign on the side outside your house the other day. Must have been mistaken. Mike, I really hope you reconsider our design. It would be a shame to have your name attached to something that was less than spectacular." I watched as Jessica turned a beautiful shade of green.

"Well we really have to get going." She said quickly. "Rose call me and we'll do lunch one day before the baby gets here. And Emmett – pleasure to see you again. I'll make sure we take another look at those plans of yours. We should keep our options open." She grabbed Mike's arm and practically ran down the aisle.

Emmett and I had settled ourselves into the car when he finally spoke. "What the hell was that Rosie? She looked like she was going to spew all over the place."

"Let's just say I wanted to give her some initiative to rethink your plans since she's the one that wears the pants in the family. It wouldn't surprise me if that baby came out gurgling in Italian."

"You mean she's screwing around on Newton ?" He looked almost giddy at the prospect. I knew there was no love lost there. "Fuck me sideways!"

"Oh yeah, they're the perfect pair. He's got some nineteen year old cashier he's banging on the side. They are just a _lovely_ couple." He let out a giggle which made me start to laugh. "Come on let's go get our girls."

Several hours later we had finally got the girls fed, bathed and asleep. I had just climbed into bed when I heard Emmett rustling around in the closet.

"What are you doing in there Em? It's getting late."

He threw open the door to reveal my body dressed in a champagne bustier and matching panties.

"Whatcha think big boy?" He cooed.

"I think I am a little freaked out." I answered honestly.

"Oh come on Rosie. We haven't had sex in like four days. I'm horny!"

"Well I'm horny too. But there is just something about this that feels wrong on so many levels."

"You know you want to. See Mr. Wonderful is at full attention." I looked down to see my massive cock once more in full form.

"Mr. Wonderful comes to full attention when the wind blows the right way." I answered waspishly.

"Please baby. I need some lovin'." He started to gently massage my breasts and I could see the nipples start to pebble under his, _I mean my_, fingertips.

"Emmett, I love you. You know that. And when we get this straightened out we can have one major fuck fest, but right now I just can't. I don't think I even know _how_ to do that in this body."

"What am I supposed to do?" He asked, sounding defeated. "I have this strange tingling sensation in my lower region. Like an itch that just needs to be scratched."

"Take a shower." I told him.

"You mean like a cold shower to cool me off? Does that work for women too?"

"All I can tell you is when you feel like you do now – take a shower. You'll figure out what I'm talking about."

He gave me a disgusted look as he turned towards the bathroom and I heard him muttering that there was not enough cold water in the Bering Strait to squelch what he was feeling.

I silently slid my hand up and back down his rigid length. _Umm… that feels good but it's still just not the same._

I rolled over and flipped off the light, praying we would figure out something tomorrow.


	5. Chapter 5 : Wednesday

**Disclaimer: We don't own it. 'Nuff said. **

**AN: Special thanks to our Masterbeta - Fiberkitty. **

**It amazes me all the people who have wondered what sex feels like to the other person – which was the main concept in developing this story. And I thought mischief-maker1 and I were the only pervs around.**

**Wednesday**

**Emmett POV**

I was still rolling my eyes as I remembered Rosalie's words from the night before. _Take a shower. _Like fuck was a shower gonna help. I hoped I wasn't getting one of those nasty assed yeast infection things she was always going on about to Bella and Alice. That shit scared me.

I did take a shower before bed. And it didn't really help. I just felt like I needed something, though, without being in my own body, I couldn't tell you what. Oh well. I finally managed to fall asleep and all too soon morning came. I got dressed once more in the clothes laid out for me and hurried through Rosalie's morning routine.

I had almost gotten it down to a science with the whole breakfast thing and managed to get us to Hope's school like, two minutes early. I was proud of myself. After that, Faith and I made it to the dry cleaners, the donation center and the hardware store, where I noted every man checking out my ass and made it a point to never ask Rosalie to go in here alone again. Men were creepy. And I was one of them!

After that, I decided to drop a call to Seth and see what he had to say. The phone rang and rang and just when I thought it was going to go to voicemail, he picked up; "S'up?"

"Seth. This is Emmett McCarty."

"Oh. Hey dude. I'm at home now. Hang on…" I heard bare feet slapping a linoleum floor and then, "Hey gramps! That chick dude is on the phone! The one I told ya about yesterday?"

"See if he can come by." I heard an older voice say.

"Can you come by now?"

I looked at the clock. It was getting close to lunchtime. "Yeah. Give me your address." They were only about fifteen minutes out of town and I pulled up at the dilapidated yellow farmhouse quickly enough.

"Play Mama?" Faith asked me.

Shit. Well, it wasn't like I could leave her in the car. "Come on sugar. Let's take you in."

"Kay." She said. I slipped out and unfastened her harness before picking her up and carrying her to the door. It was open, so I knocked on the storm door and Seth smiled at me through the screen.

"Hey dude. Come in. Cute kid. Looks like ya, or not, well, kinda…"

"Thank you Seth." I said brusquely. _Idiot. How many brain cells has he killed?_ "Is your grandfather home?"

He nodded and motioned for me to follow him. The air was thick with the smell of oil, fish, and cornbread. My stomach growled. I was sick of Rose's rabbit food. I wanted something with some substance.

We stepped into a small sitting room and there, a rather small, withered old man sat in a chair, eating a cornbread fritter. Damn him. I'm hungry. I smiled at him anyway. I needed to be nice to know how to fix this shit.

He smiled up at me, and I could tell he was having issues with his vision. He squinted and said, "Well, what a lovely lady you've brought us Seth."

"That's the problem." I stated flatly. "I'm the guy."

The old man chortled. "I see. So you now see what your wife goes through hmm?"

I sighed. "Yeah. I do. Now, can you tell me how to fix this?"

He gummed his food thoughtfully. "Well now sonny, let me tell you a story about this herb."

_Oh shit, I'm in for the long haul here, _I thought acidly.

"Many moons ago, when we were but young boys, we had to prove our worth. We were called upon to go forth and hunt alone. It was part of our rite into manhood. We were given a special…bread if you will, to eat before hand to aid us on our journey and it helped the spirits to guide us.

"We would go out into the wilderness alone and sleep. When we awoke, we found ourselves the hunted, rather than the hunted, having switched bodies with the animals, our prey. It taught us to respect our food, respect the animal that gave the gift of its life so that it may nourish our bodies."

I just looked at him. "I fail to see how that helps Rosie and I."

"Do you not appreciate her more?"

"Well, yeah…" I said.

He nodded. "Then there you go."

"But…how are we gonna turn back?"

He smiled. "In due time."

I sighed. Pretty sure the old coot wasn't going to give me any more sage advice, I said, "Thank you sir." _For nothing._

He smiled again, his toothless gums shining at me. "Be thankful sonny. It could be much worse."

I stood, picking up Faith and walked out. Of all the useless…there was no way I could tell this to Rosie. "In due time my ass." I said with a snort. Great. So I guess that meant we were stuck like this. How much longer would it take? Damn it.

When Faith and I got back home, I made our lunch before her nap. I ate my salad with a grumble while Faith ate her Spaghetti O's. I looked at them hungrily, earning a see-food moment when she asked, "Want some?" I shook my head. She didn't need to know that I was so hungry I'd lick the O's from the table if I thought I could get away with it. I cleaned her up and then took her upstairs to lay down for her nap.

The phone rang as I was shutting her door, so I ran to answer it. "Hello?"

"Hey babe." My voice said to me. _Rose. _

I smiled. "Hi honey. What's up?"

"Just wanted to remind you about the party tonight."

"I didn't forget it." I said playfully. "Maybe being in your body is making me more aware of things."

"Yeah. Right." She shot back at me.

_Well…maybe she had a point._ "Still, I got everything done on your list. Faith is down for her nap. And now I'm going in there now to run on the treadmill." I hadn't worked out for her this week and I knew it was bothering her. She normally ran during Faith's nap if she didn't have anything more pressing to do. I decided now may not be the best time to mention the visit with the old Indian, so I kept my mouth shut about that.

"Thank you Emmett. That's nice of you. Don't forget the sports bra though."

"Huh?" I asked. _What is she talking about now?_

"The bra with no hooks, the one you hate taking off of me, remember? It holds the girls so they don't bounce too much. If you don't use that, you'll be hurting too much for you to enjoy the party tonight."

_Good point, _I thought. I didn't want to mess up. "Okay Rosie. I'll do that."

I heard rustling of papers and Jamie's voice on the other end before Rose said, "I need to go babe. I've got some more paperwork to finish up. I had something else to tell you, but I forgot what it was."

I laughed. "Glad to know it's my body that suffers from CRS and not just me."

"CRS?" She asked.

"Can't Remember Shit." I stated.

She laughed. "Yeah, I'll have to remember that one. I love you."

I smiled. "I love you too baby. See you this afternoon, okay?"

I put the phone back down and headed up to our room to change. I looked through the drawers until I found what I was looking for and quickly made my way back to the treadmill in the basement, taking care to bring the baby monitor with me.

I set the machine and jumped on, relishing in the feel of my body heating up, the endorphins racing through my system, the thrill of letting myself go. I ran for almost an hour before I realized I would need time to get ready with makeup and stuff to get Hope. Rose would have a cow if I walked out of this house without makeup on her perfect face. Why, I wasn't sure. It wasn't like she needed it. But, I do as I'm asked.

I ran through my cool down and then went back into our room. I turned on the water in the shower and stripped naked. I caught my reflection in the mirror.

_Dayum. Remind me again why I don't make Rosie walk around naked all the time? _I grinned at that, remembering all the times we used to lay in bed naked. Even after Hope had been born, we would snuggle in bed, just relishing in each other while she napped. We needed to do more of that.

I stuck my hand under the water and adjusted the temperature. _Maybe when we get this shit straightened out we can go somewhere. Just the two of us. I know they have those weekend cruises. Rosie would like that. Or maybe just a few nights shacked up in a hotel somewhere. The mountains would be a nice place to go, or hell, the beach would be fine. Anywhere with decent room service and a big fuckin' bed would work for me. _

I felt that familiar tingling start between my legs again and let out a huff of indignation as I stomped to the shower again. _What is that, _I wondered.

I stepped under the hot spray and let out a little "Ahhh…" of pleasure. I washed my hair with that expensive crap Rose used and put some of her smelly-good stuff on her poof.

I hated to admit it, but liked how the thing felt against my skin. Maybe I'd have to get some of that men's body wash and a poof of my own. I know for a fact Edward uses it. I always though he was just being a fairy about the thing, but damn, I like it, it's much better than just soap.

I ran the loofah over my skin and shivered a little as it ghosted over my nipples. They had gotten a little sensitive from the run. I couldn't help myself and tweaked one experimentally. _Shit that feels good. _I did it to the other one and let out a breathy little moan. I enjoyed the feel of the water cascading over my body and played with both my breasts for just a minute more, causing the tingling between my legs to get worse.

I bit my lip. I was horny as hell and needed _something _to relax before I had to be shut up with the kids the rest of the afternoon. I ran my hand down my stomach to the juncture of my legs and put a finger into my folds. _Ahhh fuck that feels nice. _

I remembered how Rosie liked it, and going with that, perched on the shower bench, pinching my clit ever so lightly. _Fuck this is weird. But it feels sooooooo damn good…_

I had one hand working my nipple and the other was running circles around my clit. Just then, my eyes caught something pink hiding behind the bottles of shampoo and body wash. I dropped the massager just for a second and my mouth fell open. It was one of her razors. It didn't seam to have a blade on it. Odd. The button on the end of it made me wonder, so I pushed it. Immediately, it started buzzing. Whoa. Do they really use these for shaving? It felt so good buzzing in my hand. I wondered how it would feel down _there. _

Then I happened to notice the hand-held shower massager. _Should I?_ I wondered again. I knew for a fact Rosie got off in the shower sometimes. I mean, surely all the crap she did in here couldn't take a person thirty minutes, could it?

My decision made, I stood and grabbed the massager, eyeing it. I set it to _"pulse" _and sat back down.

_Okay Em. You need release. Just…it's like when you first started jacking off. You're just gonna get some release, right? _Right. I spread my legs and as soon as the water touched my now sensitive clit, I cried out.

Wow. What a weird feeling. It wasn't good, it wasn't bad, it was just…yeah. I moved the head around, getting different feelings with it, enjoying the little neurons firing at me, trying to get me some relief.

I felt myself close to the edge, but knew I needed more. My other hand went down and I plunged two fingers into myself, pumping them in and out as the water pounded my clit. "Ah!" I cried, still not quite there. Damn it. I needed release now! The two fingers felt good, but still not good enough. Then I remembered the shear size of my cock and realized the problem. I needed more.

I slid a third finger inside and it felt great, but still…something was amiss. I knew I needed that extra little 'oomph' to get me there. _Just do it. You're going crazy over here! _So I worked up my courage and slipped the blunt end of the buzzing razor in along with my fingers.

"Oh holy fucking…damn it all to hell, hallelujah fucking amen!" I moaned as I rocketed over the edge. I felt the wetness flood my fingers and my head fell back onto the tile as I panted.

My legs were shaky as I stood. Damn. If it felt that good when Rosie "Jill'ed off" I could only imagine how good it must feel when I fucked her. Or even better…when I took my time and loved her so slowly I thought she would cry before I got her to cum. Huh. Wow.

I realized I had probably spent too much time in the shower as it was, so I hurriedly washed the neither regions with the special girlie wash Rose informed me I had to use, shivering when the washcloth brushed my clit, and then all but jumped from the stall, drying off and blow drying my hair at top speed. Makeup, clothes, and one cranky two year old later, we were back out the door and on our way to get Hope.

The rest of the afternoon passed easily enough. After picking up Alice 's birthday cake we came back home. The weather was warm enough so that with a light jacket, we were able to play outside on the girl's jungle gym. I knew I probably should be cleaning the house or something, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. I was just enjoying my girls. I never got to spend enough time with them. I missed them while I was working.

Once it started getting closer to time though, I had to hurry the girls in and get them changed for Alice 's birthday party at Bella and Edward's house.

I was just getting the girls buckled into their car seats when Rose pulled my jeep into the garage. "Ready to go?" She asked.

"I've _been _ready no thanks to you." I told her. She just looked at me for a minute. "Well. Don't just stand there! Go get changed! I laid out your shirt and stuff because I knew you'd be late. As usual."

"It's hard…the job…I had calls…"

I held up a hand, because, I knew what she meant. "It's fine." I told her. "But hurry. We don't want anyone P-I-S-S-E-D do we?" I asked, spelling the word. Hope was learning to spell, but unless she wrote it down, she couldn't figure out what we were spelling.

Rose opened and shut her mouth a few times before nodding. "I'll be right back." She said softly.

I let out a sigh and slid into the passenger seat. I hadn't meant to snap at her, it just came out. Maybe this is that PMS stuff? I didn't know.

**Rose POV**

I ran upstairs to change into the clothes Em had lain out. It was nice to see him taking some initiative in getting the girls ready to go. I really had no idea how crazy and hectic it could get at his work. There was always some sort of drama with the interns or delays with contractors and budgets that were unexpected. I'm surprised he hadn't resorted to Prozac by now.

I threw on my clothes and ran out to the garage surprised to see Emmett already in the driver's seat.

"Don't you want me to drive babe?" I asked him.

"Nope, it is _my_ car right?" He flicked my long blonde hair and gave me a seductive smile. "Okay off we go." He turned the key and put the car in reverse.

"Wait!" I screamed. "I forgot to get Alice 's present."

"I've already got it in the back." He started to back up again.

"Stop! Did you get both of them, the one for the baby too?"

"Yes, the one for the baby too." He said with an exasperated tone. "And I packed a bag for Faith just in case she has an accident, I made sure everyone brushed their teeth, combed their hair and went tinkle before I put on their tights. I even went by and picked up the cake while I was out this afternoon."

"Oh God, the cake. I totally forgot I told Bella I would pick it up. How did you know to go get it?" I asked.

"I called Bella this morning to make sure there was nothing else we needed to bring and she reminded me. Am I good or what?" He shot me a bright smile and put the car into reverse once again.

"Sometimes, you are just simply amazing." I told him as I laid a chaste kiss on his cheek.

"Seems I've heard that once or twice before, especially when I take my tongu…"

"Shhh… little pitchers have big ears." I chided him.

"Huh?" He gave me quizzical look obviously trying to figure out what I was talking about.

At that moment a little voice piped up from the back…Hope.

"Mommy… Daddy is trying to tell you not to say bad stuff around us 'cause we might 'peat it to someone. You are so silly."

"You're right baby, I am a silly goose. Now let's get to Auntie Alice's party." He told her as he grabbed my hand and gave it a slight squeeze.

Ten minutes later we were outside the house and I felt my stomach start to churn. I figured I must have been a strange shade of green because Emmett gave me a worried look as the girls took off to the front door.

"What's wrong babe?"

"Can we do this Em? What if they realize something is wrong?" I asked, fear creeping into my voice.

"Everything is going to be fine. And if it gets too awkward in there one of us can just fake a sickness and get us the hell out. Who knows - maybe we should just tell them? Edward _is_ a doctor maybe he can help us."

"Yeah right. I can just hear it now… '_Hey Edward, Rose and I ate some magic brownies and we've switched bodies and now we can't get back. Got some sort of prescription that will fix all this_?' He'll think we're insane and ship us off to the loony bin! Just brilliant Emmett!"

I watched my body tense as he turned away from me. A slight sob escaped his lips.

"Geez Rose you don't have to be so mean. It was just a suggestion." I could hear the hitch in my voice and realized it was the same I had when I was trying to stop myself from crying. I turned and pulled him to me.

"Shhh now, don't cry. You'll make your mascara run. I guess I can be a bitch even in your body."

"You're...not...a…bitch." He said trying to control his voice. "I just don't get it. You don't cry like this over every little thing. But I have the waterworks start at the drop of a hat."

"Em, you have the tenderest heart out of anyone I know. I guess my hormones are just letting you express them more. And I _was_ being a bitch. I shouldn't take it out on you. I am so frustrated and tense. I just feel like I need to release a big bunch of testosterone."

He grabbed my face and pulled me in for a long, searing kiss. I felt the erection growing in my pants as I pulled away and tried to readjust myself.

"Em, not now. I can't go in there sporting your gigantic hard on."

"I know exactly what you need to make you feel better." He said as he grabbed the bags from the back. "Let's just get this over and done with, so we can go home."

We made our way inside, agreeing that the less we said the better. If a subject was brought up we weren't sure about either just nod along with the conversation, go to the bathroom, or check on the kids.

The first part of dinner went fairly uneventful. Jasper, Edward and I talked mostly about what was going on at work, so at least I was able to hold up my end of the conversation.

Emmett, Alice and Bella were all talking about Alice 's pregnancy. I watched as he nodded and smiled, every once in a while interjecting some little tidbit.

It was only when Alice and Bella started to go into detail about their birthing processes that I saw him start to squirm. I mentally tuned the guys out so I could try and concentrate on the girls' conversation.

"I just hope this one goes easier than Reagan's birth. I mean thirty-six hours of intense labor and then a c-section. I never thought they were going to get her out." Alice said as she took another bite of her linguine.

"I know, you had such a rough time, sweetie." Bella said as she grabbed Alice 's tiny hand. "I am so happy I didn't have your problems. Although Anthony was sooooo big that Dr. Moore had to cut me from one end to the other. He said I had enough stitches down there to hem up a dress."

I watched as Emmett gagged on his wine and I had to suppress the giggle that wanted to escape.

"And Rose, poor baby. I remember what a terrible ordeal you had with Hope. How she was breach and then you finally delivered her but you had hemorrhoids so bad you…" Emmett's facial expression went from uncomfortable to downright mortified as he pushed his chair away from the table.

"I have to go pee, now, right now." Emmett said as he nearly ran to the bathroom.

I remembered his reluctance to even discuss the problems with Hope's birth. All he wanted was the pretty baby wrapped up nice and clean for him to coo over. It was fun to see him right smack dab in the middle of a postpartum discussion.

Alice and Bella both turned and caught the goofy grin on my face.

"What's so funny Emmett? You think it's easy to carry a baby around for nine months. You have all these crazy mood swings, you have to pee all the time, swollen ankles and then to top it off you get to push a watermelon out a hole in your body that is normally the size of a quarter. You men get the easy part – making the baby. Hell, if you had to actually give birth the human race might die out!" Alice all but yelled - her tiny pixie face turning a bright red. "And that goes for you too, Jasper Whitlock." I turned to see a look of horror on Jasper's face.

"Damn Em, how did you manage to get us in trouble when we weren't even involved in the conversation?" Jasper asked as he cringed at Alice 's fury. "Don't you know by now to stick to guy stuff?"

"Uh… yeah. So what were we talking about?"

"Football, Kerry Collins versus Tony Romo. What 'cha think?"

"I don't know. Collins is kind of old. Romo's cute, but I think he needs to drop Jessica Simpson. She seems to bring him bad luck."

Edward and Jasper both looked at me like I was from another planet. Quickly I tried to form some sort of football jargon to cover my tracks.

"What I meant was that Collins is old school compared to Romo who… You know I think I'll go check on Rose."

I made a hasty retreat to the bathroom, quickly glancing over my shoulder to see my four friends huddled in discussion.

_Shit, Shit, Shit. They know something isn't right. I had better get Em and get the hell out of here before we are both locked up in padded cells. _

I found him sitting on the commode staring off into space.

"Babe, are you alright? What are you thinking about?" I gently asked him as I knelt down and took his hands.

"Birth, babies. Oh God, what if you get your period! All that talk kind of freaked me out. I don't want to be stuck like this Rose. I want my body back."

"I know. Me too. Let's make an excuse and get out of here. They are starting to suspect something."

"What about the cake? The baker said it was raspberry filled angel food cake. It's my favorite. Can we just wait till they serve the cake and then leave? Please. I'll promise to try and be just like you, okay?" He looked at me with such longing and I knew he had been trying so hard to watch what he ate all week that I couldn't say no.

"Okay, one piece and then we are out of here. Now come on before they think we are having sex in the bathroom. Again."

He let out a small giggle. "That was your idea, missy. I knew to not let you have all those margaritas on Cinco de Mayo."

"I didn't see you complaining. Now let's go get that cake."

We exited the bathroom and walked down the hall hand in hand. Both couples stopped talking as soon as we entered the room and I had the distinct feeling we had been the topic of conversation.

"Well guys, Rose is not feeling real great so we were hoping maybe we could go ahead and do the cake."

"But the presents…" Alice pouted.

"You can show me later, okay Ali. I have cramps. You know how it is, PMS and all that crap."

I noticed Edward and Jasper both trying to hold in their laughter while Bella and Alice both had a look of disbelief on their faces. Never in a million years would I have announced to the guys that I was on my period. He must have realized he had committed some sort of verbal faux pas because he quickly changed the subject.

"I'll just go get the cake." He said as he turned and went towards the kitchen.

"Do you want some help?" I asked. He came back and whispered in my ear.

"Nope. You are going to be so proud of me, babe. They messed up the cake and I caught it before I left the bakery." I silently wondered what they could have done that would have made him change it. I knew Alice was allergic to several kinds of nuts and I hoped it wasn't something to do with that.

I heard some rustling and then the sound of a match being lit. My voice sing-songed through the door. "Okay everybody gather round the table."

My eyes caught the huge mauve and white cake as he carried it to the table. It looked like what we had asked for, but then my eyes narrowed in on the writing and the two huge candles sitting on top. 3-0, Happy Thirtieth Birthday, Alice . _Oh Shit_!

I turned and saw the slight quiver that was forming on Alice 's lip. She was the first one of us girls to be turning thirty and she was having a rather hard time with it. Bella and I had kidded with her that we would all just stay twenty - nine forever and had agreed not to put any candles or the like on her cake.

I saw the confusion on my face. Emmett had obviously been trying to make the cake extra elaborate as the candles were at least six inches high, covered in glitter.

"What's wrong Alice ? Do you not like the cake?" He asked completely unaware of what the problem was.

I saw Bella whispering furiously in his ear and the bright smile on his face quickly faded as he realized what was happening. A few seconds of tense silence followed as everyone looked to each other and then back at Alice who was on the verge of tears. That was all it took as the tears started to flow from his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Alice . I just can't seem to do anything right lately. I just wanted the cake to be extra special and…and all the housework, the shopping - do you know there are fifty kinds of ham to choose from…eating, there is always such as mess with the girls, perky nipples in leotards…I just don't know what I'm doing anymore." I watched in horror as he babbled on and on. I knew I had better make a move and quick, or my body could wind up eating lime Jell-o, while wearing empty tissue boxes on my feet.

I was about to step in and intercede when Alice sprung into action and lit into me.

"Emmett, I don't know what is going on, but it is quite obvious that your poor wife is under a considerable amount of stress." She poked her delicate finger into my chest as she stood on her tiptoes to make up the considerable height difference.

"Now listen up and listen good. Tomorrow you let her sleep in and _you_ take Hope to school. Bring Faith over here for a little bit. I'll have one of my friends watch Reagan too. I can let them go to fun gym for a few hours with her. While you're at it, bring some dinner home because tomorrow is her day off. None of you seem to realize how hard it is to be a full time mother." She said pointedly looking at each of us men in turn.

She turned to Emmett and gave him a tight hug.

"Now sweetie, tomorrow we are going to have a girl's day. Anything you want to do, lunch, shopping, the spa, you name it. Or we can just sit around my house and veg out."

"But…"

"No, buts. Now go home and relax and we'll see you tomorrow."

We gathered up the girls and headed back to our house. I tried to decide whether it was worth saying anything about the near nervous breakdown that had occurred but figured it was best to just let it go.

I had just changed into some pajama pants for bed when Emmett came and sat beside me.

"I'm really sorry about earlier. She just looked so fucking upset and I thought had done something nice on my own. I just freaked out."

"It's alright. I've had twenty - nine years to get used to being a female and everything it entails, you've only had four days. Besides how _would_ you know she was going to go postal over turning thirty?"

"I've got a lot to learn, I guess." He sighed and he looked totally deflated.

"Don't get down. We'll figure everything out eventually. Maybe Seth's grandfather will be able to help us. Which reminds me, we need to call him tomorrow."

I saw the look on his face and knew there was something he wasn't telling me.

"I talked to him today." He said softly. "It was some sort of native herb they gave to hunters to appreciate nature or some mumbo jumbo shit like that. He couldn't tell me anything about turning back except it would happen in _due time. _I don't know how long we are going to be stuck like this."

I fell back against the mattress and covered my eyes. _Stuck like this forever. Oh God, I don't want to be a man._ I tried to hold it in but I just couldn't stop the tears that started to flow.

"Shhh…don't cry. That's my job remember. I know something that will make it all better." He grabbed the cuffs of my pants and whisked them down to my ankles.

"Emmett what are you doing? We can't… I mean it's just…"

"Relax. I am just going to help relieve some of your stress. Now close your eyes."

I felt the bed shift as he sat down beside me. All at once I felt a wonderful but strange sensation as he grabbed my cock and started sliding his hand up and down.

"Em, are you sure about this?" I pulled myself up on my elbows and watched as he methodically moved his hand up and down.

"Babe, I have been jerkin' off since I was thirteen years old. Now be quiet and just let go."

I closed my eyes once again as I heard the nightstand drawer open and then close. The scent of peach lubricant filled my nose as he once again began to stroke me.

"Think Rose; think about you and me together. Imagine me pounding in to you harder and harder. My tongue swirling around your hard pink nipples." Each word that came out of his mouth helped to increase the tempo of his hand.

I let the images invade my mind as the sensation around my dick increased. I felt a strange tingling start to build as I let out a long moan.

"Oh dear God, Emmett. Faster go faster!"

Furiously he pumped his hand up and down as the urgency to release grew stronger.

"Come on baby, cum for me. I know you want to."

That was all it took as I felt the hot liquid squirt from my body. It seemed like it was never going to end.

I cracked my eye open to see him grinning at me.

"Did ya like it?" He asked.

"That was amazing. It's like needing to sneeze and then when you finally do, it feels so good."

"Well I've never thought of it that way, but whatever." I looked down to see my leg covered in spunk.

"That I could live without though." I said gesturing to the mess on my leg. "I think I'll go get cleaned up. Do you want to join me? I can teach you about the _shower_."

His smile increased as he headed towards the bathroom.

"Too late. I figured it out on my own this afternoon."

"And…"

"And tomorrow… I am buying a stronger shower head."


	6. Chapter 6 :Thursday Part 1

**Disclaimer: We don't own it. 'Nuff said. **

**AN: This chapter is dedicated to our super special Masterbeta **_**Fiberkitty **_**and my new friend Teresa who is cool enough to review to both us.**

**Love ya, chickies…..**

**Thursday (Part One)**

**Emmett POV**

I awoke alone in our bed. I let out a sleepy little sigh and turned over. My eyes flickered open and I gasped at the time; Eight fifteen! Shit! Rose would kill me! I jumped up, still in my flannel pajama bottoms and tank and ran down to Hope's room. "Hope!" I yelled, but she wasn't there. Next, I went to Faith's room, but she wasn't there either. Thinking they were all downstairs, I ran to the kitchen.

"I'm sorry I'm running late…" But the kitchen was deserted. I briefly had a flash of horror as I thought of all those things I remembered from Sunday school where you might wake up one day all alone if you weren't right with God and I gotta admit, it scared the crap out of me. I mean, being trapped in a woman's body sure as hell seemed like Armageddon to me. But that was when I saw the note.

In my sloppy scrawl, Rose had written, "_Honey, enjoy your day off. Both girls have been taken care of. I'll pick up Hope from school, Faith is being dropped off at Alice 's and you get the morning to yourself. Alice will be over around eleven to take you to the spa. Don't worry, I got waxed just last week, so if she asks, you say no. Just tell her you want to relax today and you want no pruning. It's an inside joke between all of us girls. You can throw in that you don't want to be Rosie Barbie, Bella Barbie is due in a few weeks. She'll laugh at that and say okay. If you have any problems, trust me, my phone will be on at all times. I love you. Kisses._"

I smiled at the letter. She was too good for me, I already knew that. I ate my yogurt, piece of toast and piece of grapefruit before I went upstairs. I didn't really have that twitchy feeling between my legs, but I couldn't help but experiment some more in the shower, and since I didn't have to worry about either of the girls, I took my time, got myself off, and then went to the bed where I got myself off again.

After that, I felt even better, though, for some reason I felt sleepy. Well, I get sleepy after I orgasm, so I guess it was no surprise. Plus, a warm shower does it for me every time. So I decided to doze a bit, and easily slipped back to sleep.

I awoke again at ten thirty and got dressed in some yoga pants and one of those cool shirts with the built in bra. It was awesome not having to worry about those girls on my chest. I grinned at myself in the mirror. My wife is one of the most beautiful people on the planet. She worried so much about herself, but she was perfect. I remember when she freaked out over the three stretch marks she has on each hip. They only remind me of our children and how beautiful she looked swollen with our child. I wanted that again. I wanted her to have another, but I knew now, that having the two we had was a horrible burden on her. I wanted her to be able to enjoy herself, to be able to relax some. Maybe we needed to put Faith in a program so Rose could have some time to herself in the mornings. That would be good.

I had just finished brushing out my hair and putting it up in a ponytail when the doorbell rang. I ran down the steps and found Alice waiting for me. She smiled and hugged me. "Hey sugar!"

"Hey Ali. I'm really sorry about last night…"

She shrugged. "Well, I would be pissed at you, but I have the feeling Emmett is probably behind your current mental state."

I held in a snort. _If only you knew. _

She smiled. "Come on. Let's go."

"Do…do I look okay?"

She smiled. "To get your face covered in mud? Yup. I think you're fine."

"I don't wanna be Rosie Barbie today."

She laughed. "I know that. Just relaxing today, no pruning."

I blew out a breath. _Thank goodness. _I hopped into her bright yellow SUV and we rolled toward town. "Is Faith okay?"

She giggled. "Poor Rosie. Don't you worry about it! She's fine! You know I only hire the best babysitters!"

_That would be because Daddy pays for them, _I thought, but at least I had enough sense not to say it. I knew her dad kept them in money, Jasper complained about it enough, but he didn't let it get him down. She knew they couldn't afford everything on his salary and she had no problems with playing the "Daddy's little girl" card when she wanted something…like the horribly expensive shoes on her feet. I was a guy and even I knew they probably cost more than what Jazz or I brought home a week.

She turned on some new-age music and started "Ohm-ing" along with it. "Come on Rosie, you know you need to relax."

I sighed, shut my eyes, and just concentrated on the sounds of the…whatever the hell music instruments they were. Oddly enough, they did relax me. I felt the stress of the last few days melt away.

We arrived at the spa and a perky brunette said, "Can I help you?"

Alice smiled. "Whitlock and McCarty. We have an appointment."

The brunette, whose nametag read "Stacey" nodded and consulted her book. "Ahhh, right here. Just have a seat ladies. Sven and Yon will be right with you."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Please. These dudes were probably named Skip and Tommy for God's sake. We sat down and flipped through some magazines. I wasn't really paying attention to the book, just flipping through and started humming. I hadn't even realized what it was before Alice smiled. "I haven't heard that one in a while."

"What one?" I asked, confused.

"That's your and Emmett's song. I haven't heard you hum it in a while."

I smiled as I thought of our song. In one of my more romantic moments, and, well, to help myself out of my biggest fuck up to date, I'd gotten out my guitar and serenaded Rosalie on the porch of her sorority.

_**Flashback **_

_I pulled up in my jeep and jumped out, grabbing my guitar from the seat next to me. I was here to prove to her that I loved her. I had been an idiot, God, had I been stupid. Of course she wouldn't fuck around on me. But when I saw Royce King all up on her, I immediately thought the worst. Now, I was racing against the clock. I knew I'd probably spend the night in jail for beating the shit out of him for trying to feel her up when she'd told him no, but before that, I needed to tell her how I felt…_

_I knocked on the door and Bella came out. "Bella…"_

"_Give me one good reason Emmett." She growled, so unlike Bella._

"_I fucked up, okay? I need to tell her I'm sorry."_

_She crossed her arms. "Be glad I'm not Alice . She would have just kicked you in the nut sack."_

_I winced, because, damn it, she was right. "Bella…please?"_

_She sighed. "Sit down on the porch swing, okay? I can't promise anything."_

"_Thank you Bella. It's more than I deserve."_

_She smirked. "I know." I watched her walk back in the house, but I was too nervous to sit, so I paced. _

_After what felt like a millennia, Rosalie came outside, still red-nosed and blurry eyed. I fell onto my knees at her feet. "Rosie, I'm such a fuck up. Please baby, give me a chance."_

"_Why should I Emmett?" She asked me._

_I stood and led her over to the swing. "Just…hear me out, okay?"_

_She sat down and I picked up my guitar. I'd worked on this song since she had slapped me and walked away from me last night. I hadn't slept, hadn't eaten anything, just worked on learning the cords for this song._

"_Rosie, this is how I feel. I love you. And I can't promise I won't screw up again, but I do promise never to doubt you or how you feel about me again, okay?"_

_She bit her lip and two tears spilled out of her eyes. I started playing and singing;_

_**Maybe it's intuition  
But some things you just don't question  
Like in your eyes  
I see my future in an instant  
and there it goes  
I think I've found my best friend  
I know that it might sound more than  
a little crazy but I believe**_

_She gasped and both hands traveled to her mouth as I continued.__****_

I knew I loved you before I met you  
I think I dreamed you into life  
I knew I loved you before I met you  
I have been waiting all my life 

_I had never meant words more than I meant these as I sang them. I loved her with everything I was, everything I _would _be. __****_

There's just no rhyme or reason  
only this sense of completion  
and in your eyes  
I see the missing pieces  
I'm searching for  
I think I found my way home  
I know that it might sound more than  
a little crazy but I believe

_**I knew I loved you before I met you  
I think I dreamed you into life  
I knew I loved you before I met you  
I have been waiting all my life**_

_I sang the whole song to her and when I finished, she threw herself at me kissing my face. _

_I pulled away and said, "Rosalie, I love you. Please forgive me."_

_She sighed and smiled softly. "Okay. But just this once. You don't get another second chance at this Emmett."_

"_I promise Rose. I won't need another chance. I wouldn't be worthy of one anyway."_

_She laughed as she pulled me to her once more, her tongue licking at the corner of my mouth. I wrapped my arms around her tighter and we both moaned as her body melded to mine. _

_**End Flashback **_

I hadn't needed another second chance on that. Granted, I'd needed it for other fuck-ups, but that was the last time I'd ever thought of her cheating on me. She was loyal to the bone.

"Hey! Rose! Where did you go?" Alice asked me.

I smiled. "Just thinking about when Em sang me that for the first time."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Do you remember how many times you listened to that damn song? I still want to vomit when I hear it."

I shot her a look and grinned. "At least mine and Emmett's song isn't an *NSYNC one."

She laughed. "Make fun. But "God must have spent a little more time (on you)" is a classic."

"Whatever."

She thought a moment. "At least ours isn't a J. Lo song." She replied.

"I heard that." Bella said as she walked over. "Hi. And for your information, I was drunk that night."

"We remember." Alice and I both said. I would never forget a sloppy-ass drunk Bella falling all over Edward.

She huffed. "Well, "If you had my love" was the first song we danced to. Besides, Edward composed _our _song."

I couldn't quite help the snort. "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

They both looked at me and laughed. It felt really nice.

"You don't mind watching that video though, do you Rose? Even now!" Bella jeered.

I felt my brow furrow. "What are you talking about?"

Bella and Alice just looked at one another. "Yeah. Right. Come on. We know all about your crush on Adam Rodriguez and the fact that's the only reason you watch CSI: Miami with Emmett."

_Ah-ha! I knew she didn't actually like watching it, though it _is_ one of my favorite shows. She only likes it for the eye candy! _

I kept my mouth shut and Bella giggled. "Rosie always did have a thing for the Latin guys."

Alice snorted. "Yeah. Remember that one guy in high-school? What was his name?"

Still, I kept my mouth shut. I didn't know Rosalie in high-school.

"Eleazar!" They said suddenly.

"Oh. My. God. I just saw him a few months ago! God does he look fine. I wish he would have taken _my _virginity." Alice said longingly.

I wasn't exactly comfortable with this conversation. I had, of course, known Rosalie had been with one guy before I met her. But I didn't really like to think about it.

"Wasn't it Eric Yorkie that took your virginity?" Bella asked her.

Alice shivered. "I refuse to think about that. But to say I'd had that sexy piece of man meat Eleazar is…" She said. "Damn. Rose. I wish you would have given us more details."

"More? You mean she could have told us more?" Bella asked, blushing slightly. "I don't think I needed to know how big he was."

"Prude. You were a virgin until you met Edward."

Her blush grew. "I was not."

My mouth fell open. Whoa. Edward really though he'd taken that from her. Dirt. I'd have to save that for a really big blackmail.

"Then who were you with?" Alice asked.

Bella shook her head. "Like hell will I tell." She stated, shooting me a look. I guess Rosalie knew. Hehehe…Rose knew something about Bella that Alice didn't? Wow. I filed that information away for a rainy day.

I cleared my throat. I looked down at the magazine in my hand. It was a hair one. I found a 'do that I'd really like on Rosalie and said, "Hey Ali? What do you think? How would I look like this?"

She looked at it. "Oh. My. Gosh! You totally should get it cut! I'm sure Alistair could fit you in."

I shook my head. Rose would kill me, revive me and kill me again if I cut her hair. "No…I think I'll ask Emmett's opinion first."

She shot me a look. "You normally don't."

I swallowed. Shit. Well now what? I done opened my big ole mouth…"Well, I, uh, I just wanted…I mean…"

She put a hand on mine. "Rose. It's me. Tell me. What is bothering you? Are you two having problems? Is he…God. Is he hurting you?"

I bristled at that. Just because I was a big dude people thought I used my fists. The only time I ever used them was in that time I beat up Royce King, and hell, he deserved to get the shit kicked out of him. I probably should have cut off his balls and fed them to him. "No!" I said quickly. "Of course not! How could you say that? You know Emmett! He won't even discipline the kids!" That much I knew was true, whether I wanted to admit it or not.

She sighed. "I don't know what is going on with you. It's like you're a whole other person lately."

I sighed. "You're right. I don't feel like myself at all. But I just have to hold out hope that I'll feel better soon."

Bella grabbed my other hand. "Do you want me to see if Edward will write you a prescription? Something to calm your nerves? Maybe you need some meds Rose."

My jaw set. "I do _not _need medication Bella. I just need some…I don't know what I need."

Alice 's brow crinkled for a second before her face split into a huge grin. "I have a great idea. Do you trust me?"

I'd heard this exchange between my wife and her friends before, so I promptly answered, "With my life, my hair, my clothes _and _my makeup."

She giggled. "Then leave it all up to me."

I was about to delve into the "who, what, when, where and how's" behind her statement when a big man, almost as big as I was, came up to me. "Mrs. McCarty. Are you ready?"

My mouth fell open. Did Rose really let some dude feel her up when she came here? "I, um…I'm not sure."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Come on Rose. You know you love Sven. I worked hard to get him to take you."

"Ungh…okay." I said quietly.

He smiled falsely bright white teeth at me. "Right this way."

**Rose POV**

I did exactly as Alice had asked me the night before, dropping Hope off at school and then bringing Faith to her house. Before I turned to leave, she grabbed me by the arm and gave me a look I knew only too well.

"Emmett, something is going on with you and Rose and even though I am not sure what it is, I have a single piece of advice for you. Fucking watch your step! Rose is my best friend and I will be damned if I let you hurt her. She may not want you to know, but it was hard giving up her dreams of being an architect to take care of the family. Capiche?"

I felt the love radiate from her and I couldn't resist picking her up and swinging her around in my large arms.

"I love you PallyWallyAli, you are the best."

She gave me a funny smile. "I haven't had anyone call me that since Rose and I were in fifth grade. Actually I didn't know anybody else even knew about it."

"I'm sure Rose told me about it one time." I said quickly, covering my tracks. "I had better get going to work."

"Make sure to remind Jazz to pick up my prenatal vitamins at lunch today. Okay? I swear the man would forget his head if it wasn't attached to his neck."

I made my way to work and started in on the large pile of papers stacked on my desk. It was only when I broke the lead on my mechanical pencil that I tried to open the second desk drawer and remembered it was locked.

I pulled the set of keys out of my pocket and started fumbling through them trying to find one small enough for the lock. I was more than a little scared as to what I might find in that drawer.

What if it was something really bad? What if Emmett was having an affair? Or, oh God. What if he had some type of sick sex fetish? My hands started to shake at the thought of what I might find.

Finally, I had the drawer unlocked as I slowly pulled it open. I closed my eyes and peeked through one cracked lid, steeling myself for what was inside.

Imagine the shock I felt when I found just a bunch of drawings and plans. I immediately recognized a local nightclub and an office building that the firm had constructed. Funny, it didn't look like anything that would have to be locked away.

I pulled out the papers on top and dug farther into the desk. There at the very back was a large blue folder. I brought it out and laid it in front of me. The first set of drawings I immediately recognized. They were plans for the new children's hospital the firm was trying to land.

I could not believe the attention to detail he had taken. There was a library and what looked like a movie theatre with room for not only chairs but hospital beds as well. Everything was painted in bright happy colors. I wondered why it was locked away. I knew from Bella that Edward's father was on the board of directors and would be choosing the architectural firm to build the new structure. I laid it to the side so I could ask Em about it later.

The next drawing was a gorgeous Florida room. The floors were tiled and there was a drawing of a large hot tub inside the fully windowed room. I glanced down at the note at the bottom. Rose's thirtieth birthday. I felt hot tears start to well up in my eyes. I had made mention six years ago when we bought our house that I wished it had a Florida room so we could sit and look out over our backyard. The indoor hot tub was an extra amenity. Emmett knew exactly what hot bubbly water, combined with our naked bodies did to me.

There were a few more that had names on them of local restaurants and stores, however, the drawings were not the same as the finished project. I could only assume they were ideas my father had shot down. There was also one that had different logos drawn out on it. McCarty Architecture, McCarty-Whitlock Firm, even McWhit Architecture. That one brought a small smile to my lips. That one was a definite NO - it sounded like a hamburger joint.

I came to the last sheet and I felt my heart drop into the pit of my stomach. It was a drawing of a baby nursery. The room was painted blue and white and there was a large Titan's emblem on the wall. Tiny football helmets and balls made up the mobile hanging over the crib. There at the bottom was the inscription – Little Em's Nursery. I delicately traced every detail with my finger as I felt the tears start to fall.

Unfortunately, it was that exact moment that Jasper decided to come barging in. Hurriedly, I tried to gather up the papers and shove them back into the folder.

"Dude, are you crying?" There was more than a little shock and concern on his face.

"Uh… no… I got choked on a … uh" I looked around the desk and noticed a wrapped candy from the Sonic Drive-In in the drawer. "A peppermint. So what's up?"

"Nothing much. I let Miya go home for the day. Apparently your fuckhead father in law decided that if he couldn't bang you assistant he would try mine."

I felt my blood start to boil. What was it with my father? He seriously needed his ass kicked. My pulse started to race and I decided it may be better to lighten the situation. After the deal with Alice and now Miya I wouldn't be surprised if Jasper decided to take matters into his own hands.

"Too bad he doesn't realize the only one she has eyes for in this firm is you." I said with a sly smile.

He let out a little snort. "I know. I caught her writing Mrs. Miya Whitlock on her desk blotter the other day."

"She's married." I pointed out.

He grinned. "I think she'd off her husband if I suddenly became available."

I bit my lip to hold my giggle in. He had a point there.

He sighed. "At least Alice doesn't seem to notice, she would probably have a conniption fit."

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips then. "She does know you idiot. She thinks it's funny. In fact I think she gave her a picture of you from your last vacation – on the beach. Miya swore unending devotion to her for that one. Why do you think she sends a batch of her home-baked peach "sex cookies" home with you once a month?"

"Hmm… I thought maybe she was trying to fatten me up so Alice would leave me."

I rolled my eyes. I remembered the conversation we had over those cookies. Miya assured both of us that they lead to more sex and orgasms than we could handle. She was right. Alice and I now halved the batch ever time Miya made them and I had gotten the recipe. I had planned on making some of them for Emmett and hadn't yet got around to it. "No chance in that." I said, answering his statement. " Alice is in with you for the long haul. She really loves you Jasper."

He gave me a strange look and I knew that I was treading into girly revelation talk. I was trying to quickly change the subject when he noticed the plans for the children's hospital lying on the side of my desk. Gingerly he picked them up and started flipping the pages.

"Man what a waste. This is some of your best work bro."

"What do you mean? What's a waste?" I asked.

He shook his head and threw them back on the desk. "We should have told Walter to take these and shove them up his fat ass. Picking James' idea over this? His plans looked like something out of _One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest_!" He ran his fingers through his hair."Shit like that is exactly where you want to take your sick child." He said sarcastically.

He was wound up, so I just sat back and watched him vent. "And then to threaten our jobs if we went over his head and showed them to Edward and his dad? Hell, I'll bet even Carlisle Cullen would like them, and he's particular about _everything_. Man Walter is such a major dick! I swear if I wasn't so worried about finding another job with Ali being pregnant I would have quit that day."

I could tell from the conviction in his voice that he was speaking the truth. It amazed me how much each of us had given up for our families. Jasper and Emmett working at jobs they hated, me deciding to stop working to be a full time mother and even Alice. She had just been getting established as an interior designer when she got pregnant with Reagan. Everything got put on hold during her difficult pregnancy .When they almost lost her she decided life was too short and Reagan deserved all her time. However, she still sketched every day and would occasionally show me her ideas that would never come to fruition.

I picked up the drawings in frustration. _So much talent just going to waste_…and that was when a plan starting forming in my head. It was time to get us out of this shit hole – all of us.

"So Em, you want to grab some lunch?" Jasper asked, knocking me out of my reverie.

"Nope, I've got some things to take care of." I was practically singing by now. _Oh yes, this will all work out perfectly! _

"Like what?"

"It's for me to know and you to find out." Unfortunately in my excitement I forgot whose body I was in and I planted a big kiss right on his cheek

"What the fuck, Emmett?" He said, disgust clear in his voice as he wiped his cheek furiously. "Man, I don't know what is going on with you but it's just… ugh."

With that last sentence he turned and left the office. I knew I had seriously freaked him out but I would have to worry about it later. Right now I was a man…woman…uh, man on a mission.

I pushed the intercom button. "Jamie, could you get my mother…in law on the phone please?'

A few seconds later the intercom buzzed back and I picked up the phone.

"Hello, Mo...Teresa it's me Emmett. Yes, I'm fine. No Rose is fine too. I was wondering if you would like to have lunch this afternoon."

Several hours later I was in a complete state of euphoria. I could not wait to get home and tell Emmett my plans. I was fixing to leave the office when Jasper met me at the door with a determined look on his face. I thought back to earlier and readied myself for the storm I was sure was about to happen.

"Listen Jazz, about earlier…" I started, but he cut me off.

"No you listen, Emmett. Alice and Bella are taking Rose out for the night, so consider this as some sort of male intervention. You, Edward and I are going out for some serious male shit tonight – end of story."

_Serious Male Shit - oh Lord I am in trouble now_.

**AN2: So…who wants to see EXACTLY what kind of male shit the boys get into? And furthermore, who wants to know where the girls are taking "Rose"? Review and tell us if you want to see it. Otherwise, we're going to skip ahead to the next day. Remember, the only payment we get is your reviews telling us if you like it or don't like it. Come on! Show us the love! Do it for Emmett!!! **


	7. Chapter 7:Thursday Part 2

**Disclaimer: We don't own it. 'Nuff said. **

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**AN: To one of our favorite reviewers. She NEVER fails to send us ego-stroking reviews. So, FlamingRedFox, this one's for you hun.**

**Special thanks to our MASTERbeta, fiberkitty, who always checks us, berates us for our mistakes, snarks us to the point of tears…LAUGHTER tears, that is, and all around awesomeness. This story wouldn't be as much fun if we didn't have your comments to look forward to. Love ya babe!**

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**Thursday (Part Two)**

**Emmett POV**

I stepped from the room feeling refreshed. Damn. I felt so good, if I ever made it back to my own body, I might have to hand my dick in. I was going to _have _to start getting massages more often. I even enjoyed the mani/pedi I got. There was just something about having your feet in those bubbles…

I had been terrified when the big man asked me to follow him, but he handed me a glass of champagne, "Miss Alice's Orders" and told me to just relax. Huh. Looking back on it, I think there was something _in _that champagne, but whatever. I think I dozed off at some point, but I felt refreshed, revived, ready to take on whatever life handed me.

"Oh good! Did you have a great time? I have your clothes right here! Come on, let's get you dressed so we can go! I got us tickets to the sold out Male Review show tonight!"

Or maybe not.

" Alice ! What the fuck? Tickets to see men naked?" I asked. Ugh…maybe drinking that champagne was a bad idea.

She giggled. "Of course. Don't worry, I've got the girls taken care of and Jasper's looking after Emmett and…"

" Alice ." I tried again. "I don't want to see naked men parading around." Truthfully, I didn't even enjoy watching naked _women _parade around. Okay, that's total horse shit, but you get the idea.

Her face popped into that tiny little pout that no one could resist and I sighed. " Alice …"

"Come on Rosie-dozy-posy! It'll be fun!" She said, and refusing to take no for an answer, drug me behind her to get dressed.

I snorted. _Fun, yeah, right. _

She put me in an outfit that was entirely too hot for a married woman to be wearing, though, I had to be honest, I'd very much like for Rose to wear it again when I was in my correct body. It wouldn't last long before it wound up on the floor around me. Her body was totally fuckable. Damn.

_Speaking of fuckable…_Alice and Bella had both stripped down to their skivvies to get changed. Shit. _Rose will kill me, Rose will kill me, Rose will kill me. _I turned around quickly and closed my eyes, pretending to work one of the buttons on my blouse from earlier.

"Rose? Will you zip me?" Bella asked, holding her hair up.

My mouth went dry as I looked at the beautiful creamy skin of her back. Shit. No bra. And…I peeked down the dress a little bit. _A thong! I'm fucked. _

"Oh! Me too!" Alice said. She turned in front of Bella, so we were like a chain of people zipping. It was too damned erotic and for once I was glad I was cock-less because he would have been standing _proudly _at attention.

Thankfully we were dressed before too long and I didn't have to look at them naked. Because if I had seen any more skin than I had, I don't know what I would have done.

We stepped from the dressing room and Alice had some dude named Marcus do my hair and makeup and before I knew it, we were sitting down in a nice restaurant, a pitcher of margaritas in front of us and laughing about college. It was…fun.

But after we ate, Alice drove us to the "club" we were attending and I swallowed hard. "Ali…are you sure about this? What if the guys find out?"

"They already know girlie-girl! I told Jasper to take Emmett to a strip club. Besides, you know you're the one he comes home to. I hope they buy him a lap dance."

My mouth fell open. I would _pay _to see Rosalie in a strip club. Oh. My. God. I'm sure they were going to have a _fun _evening. I gulped as we breezed past the doorman and into the club. Hmm…I guess she wouldn't be the only one having "fun" tonight.

Alice found us a table and we immediately ordered drinks. Well, Bella and I did. Alice couldn't have one, which was fine with her. She didn't mind driving everyone around on occasion.

A few drinks in and I was feeling no pain. Unfortunately, that was when they started the "show".

"Ladies! We have a real treat for you tonight! Get ready for some men!" And then, to my horror, "It's Raining Men" started. Were we in a gay bar and I not realize it?

The men came out on stage and started dancing and I felt the alcohol churning in my stomach. Ugh. That shit was just fucking _nasty. I can't believe we're watching it. _I zoned out a bit and thought about Rosalie. Her long legs, her creamy skin, her beautiful blonde head going down on me as she…

"Rose?"

I blinked. "Huh?"

Alice smirked. "I said they called you Rose!"

"Wh-what?!"

Bella grinned. "They called you up on stage."

_Oh the horror. _I stood and walked like a man to the gallows. There were three or four men gyrating around and I tried not to grimace as one of them helped me to a chair. I noticed there were two other chairs, and other women were being led up to them.

The music changed and the men started dancing. One started giving me a dude's version of a lap dance and I just watched him with my mouth open. His cock was thankfully encased in a tiny little sack and I felt the alcohol threatening to come up again.

He winked at me and put his ass in my face. I looked over at the other women, who were rubbing their hands on the men and smacking their asses and I suddenly felt weak and light headed.

He did some complicated little move and thrust his hips at me and I swallowed, trying to keep my dinner down as I broke out into a cold sweat.

His muscles were glistening. With sweat, with oil, with fucking cum, I'm not sure but I didn't think I could stand it anymore.

Just as I felt like I was either going to pass out or puke, the music stopped and he grasped my hand, kissing it. I swallowed the bile traveling up my throat and somehow made my way off stage.

I got back to our table and Bella said, "Rose? What's wrong?"

"I…I think I'm going to be sick." That was the last thing I remember.

I regained consciousness to cold water being pressed into my forehead. Somehow they had dragged me to the bathroom and I was now sitting in a chair. Why are women's bathrooms so much nicer than men's? "What happened?" I asked.

Alice let out a tiny growl and Bella shot her a look. "What?"

"What is going on? You are Rosalie Hale McCarty. You do not faint. And certainly not after getting an eye full of man candy."

I winced. How was I supposed to keep this a secret now? "I…uh…well, ya see…"

Alice glared at me, waiting. I wouldn't be surprised if she started tapping her foot.

My mouth opened, and the next thing I know, I'm spilling _everything_. All of it. Mine and Rosalie's argument, the brownies, waking up in her body, every bit of the horror we'd gone through in the past four days. After I finished, I peeked out from under my lashes and looked up at them. Both of them had their mouths hanging open. "_Say _something." I begged.

Alice shook her head. "No. It's not possible."

I nodded. "It is."

"Rose, that can't happen." Bella said softly, obviously worried about my sanity.

"It's not Rose! It's Emmett! Don't you get it? I'm stuck in her body!" I was sobbing by this point and didn't really care if they thought I was in need of the loony bin or not.

"I…if you're really Emmett, let's see. I want you to prove it." Alice stated.

"Um…okay." I said, sniffling.

"What was the first thing you ever saw Rosalie in?" She asked me.

I smiled at that. "I didn't meet her until a few days later, but the first time I saw her was in a tiny red dress coming in from a date. I was sneaking out of your sorority from a one-night stand. I knew I had to have her. She looked like a Rose. I didn't know that was her name until later in the week. She was at your annual car wash benefit for the children's hospital. Then she was wearing some cutoff jeans and a pink bikini top."

Alice gasped. "Emmett?"

I nodded. "Yeah. It really is me."

"Wait." Bella said. "How did you know that? What are you two talking about?"

Alice grimaced and I did too. Oh boy. Time to reveal the secret. "Ali…"

She shook her head. "This stays here, okay? Bella? You have to trust me, alright?"

Bella looked from her to me worriedly before she nodded. "Okay."

"It was me." Alice said. "The one-night stand was with me."

"You and EM?!"

I nodded. "It just, kinda, sorta happened. We were drinking at the same bar that night. She was down in the dumps because she'd just ditched her loser boyfriend and I was lonely in a new town so far away from home. I wasn't all Emo and shit, but I hadn't met anyone. It was only the first week of campus and I felt so out of place." I snorted. "A lot of the Yankee sons of bitches made fun of my accent and how I'd never make it through college because I was some hick from the sticks that shouldn't have gotten a scholarship for football, how I'd fall flat of my ass once I got out into the real world."

"Em…" Alice said, hugging me. "Oh honey, what are we going to do about this?"

"You can't tell Rose you know. She didn't want us telling."

"So how do we fix this?" Bella asked.

"I don't know. The old dude said it would happen "in due time" whatever the hell that means."

Alice put her fingers to her chin and said, "Hmmm…I think I may have an idea…"

**Rosalie POV**

I had just finished getting changed when I heard the doorbell ring. It had been too quiet when I'd gotten home. I had gotten used to Emmett and the girl's laughter as soon as I walked in so I was more than ready for the guys to pick me up. Though, I could only imagine what Jasper had in store for me tonight. I hoped to God it was something as simple as drinking beer and watching stupid action movies. But for some reason I didn't that I was going to get off that easy.

I climbed into the backseat of Jasper's truck and did the obligatory knuckle bump with him and Edward.

"So what's up guys?"

"Alice and the girls are going out for a little female fun so we have decided that the three of us should have some male bonding time."

I let out a little snort. "Male bonding time - who are you Dr Phil?"

Edward turned around in his seat and gave me his most serious 'doctor' stare. "Emmett you have been acting awfully strange lately. Jasper and I decided that you could use some positive male reinforcement."

"Besides," Jasper interrupted. "We know it's hard for you swimming in the estrogen ocean at your house. I get it too. Really. We understand."

_Estrogen ocean? Someone's been listening to too much Jeff Foxworthy. Apparently Alice didn't burn _every _one of Jasper's "Blue Collar" DVD's,_ I thought, and filed that information away later. _For blackmail purposes, of course. _

Edward nodded. "Exactly. Now, I wanted us to go downtown to a seminar called, "_Being a man: A guide to the new masculinity_," but Jazz had a different idea."

I let my eyes roll in my head. "Only you Edward would think that a bunch of guys holding hands and talking about their feelings would constitute male bonding. So where are we going to instead?"

"You'll see." Jasper answered with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

We had gone another five miles down the road when I noticed Edward take a thin white cigarette out of his front pocket. _Funny, I have never seen Edward smoke._ It was only when the pungent odor hit my nose did I realize _what_ he was smoking.

"Holy shit, Edward! Is that what I think it is?" I inquired, my voice going up higher than I think Emmett's ever had before.

A lazy grin passed across his face as he passed the joint to Jasper.

"What in the fuck are you doing with weed?" I asked as Jasper took a long draw and shoved it back towards me.

"It's medicinal. I am a doctor you know." He said on the exhale.

I looked down at my hand. _Is this something they did all the time?_ Emmett was always so careful about what he put in his body, well of course besides his fat laden foods. It infuriated him to no end that people assumed he did steroids because of his size.

"Come on Em, either take a hit or pass it back up here." Edward said as he stuck his hand between the seats.

I raised it to my lips and inhaled deeply. The smoke burned my throat and lungs as I tried to hold it in. Slowly I blew out the smoke. "So how does Bella feel about you smoking marijuana Edward?" I asked as I passed it back to him. "Or does she even know. Because Em…I mean… I have not ever told Rose."

A sheepish grin crossed his face but instead of him answering me, Jasper did. "Come on big E, it's not like we do this all the time. In fact when was the last time?"

"Canoe trip last summer." Edward interjected letting the smoke haze around his face.

"Yeah, the canoe trip. Besides the girls don't have to know everything we do."

I felt a small amount of anger start to rise inside of me. It wasn't that I cared that they occasionally got high. Hell, the girls and I had done it a few times in college but the fact that Emmett would keep something from me stung slightly. I was also shocked at Edward. He was always so proper, goody-goody. This was a side of him I hadn't seen in a very long time. I figured my best bet was to go along with it.

"So medicinal purposes, Eddie? I guess whatever helps you sleep at night."

"One, don't call me Eddie and two it is medicinal. I have a very stressful job. Sometimes after a full day at the office I need to relax." _Oh, so he does it more than we do. Dirt for later._ Again, I filed away this information.

"Man, you're a gynecologist. How stressful can your job be? Feeling up boobs and checking out twats all day? It would be hog heaven for most men." _Yep, that should sound like Emmett, no filter on his mouth._

I saw him shudder. "Yeah and most of my patients don't look like our wives. Would you care to check out the private parts of a seventy year old woman?" Now was my chance to shudder and he could see the grimace on my face. "Didn't think so."

"Well, we really should let our wives in on it - especially you Edward. High Bella is horny Bella."

"What are you talking about?"

I thought back to one incident that had stuck in my mind throughout the years. Emmett had just about died when he got to our sorority.

"College, the night we went to that Def Leppard concert. Alice had gotten some pot from a friend of hers in the art department. I went to get the girls and we were going to meet you there. Well, let me tell you the three of them had been smoking some major wacky weed when I got there. They wanted to do the whole heavy metal experience."

We had really gone all out too. Alice had found us some old concert t-shirts and those jeans that were stretchy and you had to lie down just to pull them on. We had put on heavy eyeliner and teased our hair to the sky. Right before Emmett had got there Alice pulled out a bag of pot and had stated that it was time to 'rock out'. Emmett had walked in on the three of us, rolling in the floor, giggling like mad women.

"Well yeah I remember but what about it?" I could see he was trying to stretch his memory to figure out what I was referring to.

"If you recall, you got a blow job from Bella at the concert. Right there in the stands under your jacket."

"I remember that." Jasper exclaimed as he took another drag. " Alice was so mellow that night. Maybe I do need to tell her, calm her down every once in a while."

He passed the joint back to me and I figured, "what the hell?" as I took another long puff.

"Not until that baby is here, Mr. Whitlock. Now are we ever going to get to our destination?"

"Actually we're here."

I looked out the window at the large neon sign flashing above me – The Eager Beaver.

"A strip club, guys? No, No and Hell NO!!" I yelled.

"It's a gentleman's club." Jasper stated like there was some sort of difference.

"What pray tell is gentlemanly about naked women grinding on poles?"

"Lighten up Emmett. The girls took Rose to some male review that is in town. We haven't been to a club since Edward's bachelor party. It'll be fun."

_Oh…my…God. They took Em to a male review_. What I wouldn't give to see him watching half naked men gyrate on stage.

I grabbed the joint and took one last draw. I definitely needed to be high for this.

We made our way inside and a cute little blonde took us to a table right next to the stage that had a reserved sign on it. The flashing lights and loud music along with my beginning buzz was making my head spin. It was just a few moments later when a waitress wearing a tiny skirt that barely covered her ass cheeks came over to take our drink order.

"What can I get you three handsome fellas?" She asked while loudly popping her gum.

"I'll take a beer on tap." Edward answered her.

"I think I'll have a Jack and coke." Jasper told her as he pulled a large wad of bills from his pocket.

I thought about it for a second before I answered her. "Hmmm… I'll have a cosmopolitan."

"Fuck you will!" Jasper spat at me. "You are not having some sissy girl "Sex in the City" drink. Bring him a crown and coke. In fact keep bringing them every fifteen minutes until someone passes out or pukes and then bring them every five."

If she found the request odd, she didn't show it. She winked at him and left to fill our order. That was when I made the mistake of turning my attention to the stage. I had absolutely no idea why men got so turned on from strippers but I figured I would at least try and enjoy the show.

I watched the women as they moved and shimmied across the stage. In all truthfulness the stripper pole fascinated me. I silently wondered if Em would like us to install one in the basement. Bella had been talking about taking a strip class but was too afraid as to what Edward would think. Perhaps if I ever got back in my own body, we could go together. Alice too, once baby Whitlock showed its cute little head.

"This is great!" Jasper exclaimed. "Don't you think so Em?"

Granted the dancers were extremely beautiful and their bodies were smoking hot but I had never been into women. Not that way. I gave him an unenthusiastic nod and turned my attention back towards the stage.

The next thing I knew Jasper had shoved a wad of singles in my hand.

"What do you want me to do with these?" I asked.

"What do you think? Put one in her g-string. For all that is holy, act like you have a set."

I leaned up out of my seat to the almost naked woman crawling towards me. She flashed me a seductive smile and stuck her hip towards my waiting hand. I shoved the bill in between the string of her panties and her flesh and retreated as quickly as possible. In appreciation, she spread her legs wide as she did a partial roll across the stage. I felt the alcohol churn in my stomach and my head spin. That was way more than I needed to see.

Jasper and Edward both looked at me with confusion in their eyes. Suddenly Japer beckoned to a buxom red head in a fire engine red bikini and thigh high boots that was across the room. Seductively she swayed her hips as she made her way to our table. She leaned down and listened to something he was whispering in her ear. The next thing I knew she had positioned herself between my legs.

"What the hell?" I wondered aloud. This was all getting to be too much for me. Between the alcohol, the heat and my obvious discomfort I was beginning to get sick.

The beautiful woman in front of me leaned down and put her hands on my shoulders.

"Relax big boy, let the Flaming Red Fox take away all your cares." She whispered in my ear.

She started swaying to the music. Gyrating and moving, shaking every one of her ample assets in my face. I momentarily closed my eyes and willed myself to think of something else - anything else.

Much to my surprise the dick in my pants started to respond. I was not in the least bit excited but there it was like some sort of divining rod seeking out water. I shifted in my seat, trying to adjust the prominent erection straining against my pants.

"That's my boy!" Jasper yelled as he clapped me on the shoulder. You would have thought I had found a cure for cancer instead of just getting a boner from the way the stupid fucker was acting. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and finally pulled a wad of money from my pocket. I shoved the money in her hand and whispered a mumbled thanks as she progressed to the next table.

"You know Emmett it is a normal male reaction to get an erection when looking at naked women. You shouldn't be embarrassed." Edward scolded. _Who does he think he is?_

"I'm not embarrassed and you shouldn't talk like such a pansy all the time. I know what my dick is supposed to do. And I recall you do to given enough tequila."

His face immediately registered shock. _.Shit._ I had stuck my foot in my mouth again. _Please don't ask what I meant by that_. I pleaded to myself.

Obviously anger overtook his confusion. "I am not a pansy! Just because I am more in touch with my feminine side than you are, you think it…"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Believe me. There is no way you could be more in touch with your feminine side than me. Now if you will excuse me I am going to the bar to get another drink because our waitress seems to have fallen off the fucking planet."

I had just gotten another drink when I noticed a couple of familiar faces at a table in the back of the bar – Wonderfuck James and Mr. _The _Mike Newton.

I grabbed my glass and wobbled back to the table. I had lost track of how many drinks I had consumed but I was more than a little drunk.

"Look whose here Jazz – Newton and James."

I saw the anger flash in his eyes. "Well there goes my hard on. James can make my dick go limp in a New York minute. What do you think they are doing here?"

"Well Newton is a total perv. I can only assume James brought him here to kiss his ass."

We sat there in silence for the next half hour. I watched as James kept going back and forth to the bar. He seemed to be having an animated conversation with the bartender. I waited until I saw him excuse himself and head towards the bathroom to make my move.

I made my way to Mike Newton and plopped myself down in James's unoccupied chair.

"Hey Mike, how are you tonight?"

He looked over at me in surprise. "Oh hey, Emmett. I'm fine. What are you doing here? Rose let you off the ball and chain for the night?"

I let out a forced laugh. "Guy's night out. Why don't you come join us up front? At least until James gets back. I'll buy you a drink."

We had both knocked back a couple of shots when I felt nature call. _Shit. I can only imagine how nasty the bathrooms would be in a place like this._

"Excuse me guys. I'll be right back."

"Hold on, I'll go with you. I've gotta take a major leak." Mike announced.

Slowly we weaved our way through the crowded bar. I headed back through the open entrance that had a neon Restroom sign flashing above it. However, in my half drunk state I failed to realize that the door I had opened was not the one marked Men's. It was obviously some sort of supply closet. There among the mops and stacks of toilet paper was my step-brother, pants around his ankles, with his dick stuck in the bartender's mouth.

"Holy Shit! What the fuck is going on here?" Mike screamed.

James's eyes popped open as he tried to extract his dick from the guy kneeling in front of him.

"Mike, I can explain…"

"Explain what James. That you are a flaming homo! Oh God! I think I am going to be sick!"

"Come on Mike. The bathroom is right here." I led him through the right door this time but before I did I gave a James a cocky smirk over my shoulder.

"You seem to be uh…occupied James. I'll make sure Mike gets a cab home. By all means, continue."

I spent the next few minutes listening to Mike rant about James. It was obvious he was a complete homophobic. Normally I didn't condone any type of bigotry. Live and Let Live was my motto. Hell, Emmett's third cousin from Cleveland , Texas was gay. Emmett was cool with it. They had grown up together, spending summers down on Tim's dad, Emmett's uncle's ranch. However, I knew it was too good of an opportunity to pass up especially with what I had planned for tomorrow.

I invited Newton back to our table and was completely shocked to see Carlisle Cullen and Marcus Volturi sitting at our table. They were two of the most important people on the board of director's of the new children's hospital.

"Uh… good evening Carlisle , Marcus. I wouldn't have expected to see you two here."

Carlisle and Marcus both gave me a firm handshake.

"Well Esme and Carmen went to that male review that was in town. So we decided tit for tat so to say. Edward told us the three of you were sort of doing the same thing."

"We are. It is funny that we ran into you tonight because I had planned on calling you tomorrow." I took a deep breath and tried to focus my thoughts. "I wanted to see about submitting mine and Jasper's ideas for the new children's hospital."

"Emmett!" Japer hissed on a whisper. "You know we can't. What about our jo…"

I gave him a look to shut up and he quickly picked up his glass and forced himself to take a long drink.

"Well that would be fine but I thought Walter had already submitted an idea." Carlisle stated.

"He has, but this is something different. So would you have some free time in the morning?" _Please say yes, please say yes._

"Come by the office at eight. We'll do breakfast. Now if you will excuse us, I believe we both have uh…business to attend to at home. Esme just called and said the show was over."

We all shook hands and I felt my buzz start to kick in again. We had decided that it was about time for us to be heading home when Mike spoke up.

"You know, Emmett. The more I think about your idea for the Outfitter's the more I like it. And anything that has the Cullen stamp of approval is good enough for me. I am going to call Walter in the morning and tell him I want to use your and Jasper's idea."

I felt like hugging him but based on his reaction to James' little show earlier I settled for a strong clap on the back.

"That's great Mike, really. So how about if the three of us do lunch tomorrow and go over the details?"

"Sure. The Shack at twelve?"

"We'll see you there. Now let us call you a cab."

I went and asked the front hostess if she could call us two cabs. The plan had been for Edward to drive us home. But he, along with both Jasper and myself had drank entirely too much.

The three of us piled into the cab and I couldn't believe it when Edward fired up another joint.

"Are you crazy, Edward? We are in a fucking cab!" I furiously whispered at him.

The cabbie must have heard our muffled conversation because he gave us a sly smile through the rearview mirror.

"For an extra fifty, I see no, hear no, speak no evil my friends."

Edward flashed that same stupid, crooked grin that he knew got him anything he wanted.

"Fifty it is and an extra fifty if you drive around for a while and then take us to Krystal's." I shot him a look of pure incredulity.

"What I'm hungry!" My stomach grumbled in response to the mention of food.

"Oh well, might as well end this night with a bang." As I took another long hit.

Forty - five minutes, one joint, and ten cheese Krystal hamburgers later I stumbled in the door. I made my way to the bedroom to find Emmett sitting up in bed reading a Cosmo magazine.

"So did you have _fun_ tonight?" He asked with a cute little growl.

I flopped down on the bed so glad to be back in my own house.

"Naked women, Newton , catching my step-brother getting his dick sucked by another guy in the janitor's closet, what can I say - it was a hell of a night!"

"You did what? Talk. I want all the details. And why do you smell like smoke and Krystal's?" Suddenly a look of embarrassment crossed his face. He lowered his voice to almost a whisper. "Did Edward get you high?"

"Yes he did. And I don't want you to ever feel like you have to keep something from me Emmett. If you want to party with your guy friends every once in a while it is fine by me. Just don't make it a habit."

"As far as your other questions. The guys took me to a strip club, I got a lap dance, and then I caught James getting in on with some bartender from the club. So how was your night?"

I watched as he cringed and he looked for a moment like he was going to be sick.

"Oh God, Rosie, they took me to some naked man dancing shit. It was the nastiest thing I have ever experienced. So did you like the girls? Because you know I always thought it would be hot if you and another girl…"

"Nope, sorry babe. That's just one fantasy of yours that is _not_ going to happen. Although, I have to tell you your dick has a mind of its own. I was just sitting there and it got hard."

I saw another look of embarrassment and knew there was something he wasn't telling me.

"Em…"

"Don't be mad. But we were getting changed to go out and I might have peeked at Bella's panties when she asked me to zip her up. And then Alice asked Bella to do the same. And god, there was so much flesh…I was just glad I didn't have a cock at the moment."

I couldn't contain my laughter.

"Em, you have to be the only man on the planet that can get his dick hard telepathically."

He flashed me a bright smile as he sat up in bed to reveal a tiny purple camisole and panties.

"Well speaking of Spermin Herman the one eyed German, would you like to try to progress our relationship a little farther tonight? Because babe, I gotta be honest. The shower is getting old."

Could I do this? Could I make love to my own body? Well if we were going to be stuck like this I might as well try. Quickly I stripped off my clothes as Emmett did the same. I made my way back to the bed and looked at myself. _I can do this, I can do this._ I chanted to myself.

And then I promptly passed out.


	8. Chapter 8 : Friday

**Disclaimer: We don't own it. 'Nuff said. **

**AN: Thanks to our MASTERbeta fiberkitty. You kick ass sugar! MWAH!**

* * *

**Rose POV**

I awoke the next morning with the hangover from hell. It was like a bass drum was lodged inside my head. And my mouth…ugh, my mouth felt like it had been stuffed with cotton all night. I glanced over at the bed side clock, seven-fifteen. _Shit!_ I had to get moving or I was going to be late for my breakfast meeting.

I jumped in the shower and let the hot water unknot the muscles in my neck. I had just soaped up my hair when Emmett opened the shower door.

"Morning, pothead. I'm surprised to already see you out of bed." He said with a slight snicker.

I let out a low growl. I was most definitely not in the mood to be fucked with this morning. I guess he could sense my pain because he held out his hands, one containing two aspirins and the other a glass of orange juice. I returned the sweet gesture with a weak smile.

"Sorry baby, I way over did it last night. I feel like I have been run over by a Mack truck."

"It's alright. I thought you might want me to call in sick for you today. Maybe we could spend the day together, finish what we started last night?" I could hear the desire in his voice and I felt bad for making him wait, again.

"Can't. I've got two important meetings today. But I'll be home a little bit earlier than normal. 'Kay?"

I saw the disappointment flicker across his face for a moment to be replaced with a mischievous grin.

"Alright, but tonight you…are…mine." He gave my cock a quick yank and then slipped out the door. I thought about relieving the throbbing between my legs but knew if I got started I would certainly be late for work.

I quickly dressed and ran out the door after giving kisses to everyone and promises of surprises when I got home.

I arrived at Carlisle 's office at exactly eight sharp. Much to my surprise not only was he and Marcus there but the rest of the hospital board as well.

One hour later I was on my way back to the office. I had called and told Jamie to very discreetly start gathering up our personal belongings and that I would explain when I arrived. I thought back to the lunch meeting with my mother yesterday.

_I had met her at the country club's lounge. I knew she would never turn down an invitation from Emmett as she had always had a thing for him. Big, strapping, country boys were her weakness, just like me. She had been in a passionate love affair with a guy from __North Carolina__ until her father had forbid her to see him. Instead she had settled for a 'suitable' husband, my father. What a fucking joke that was._

_When my father had flat out refused to accept Emmett, my mother was the one who had told him to take a short walk off a long pier. That her only daughter was going to marry for love, not because of a bank account. She and Emmett had always had a close relationship after that. _

_It was just a few years after we had been married that Father decided to replace her with a new, younger model. Although she had her own fortune, her lawyer had duly taken him to the cleaners. All the money had been put into a trust for me. She didn't want it and neither did I. Anything that reminded me of how my father had so easily disposed of her was not something I wanted a part of. We both agreed to let it sit and draw interest, then pass it on to the girls when they got older, unless of course an emergency came up. Well by God, this was a major fucking emergency if ever there was one._

_I outlined the plan for our new architectural firm. I took some of the drawings I had found and explained that I was going over Walter's head to see if I could land them on my own. All I needed was the capital to get started. _

_She had given me a serious stare as she placed her small hand inside my large one._

"_Why Emmett, why now? I have offered so many times to help." She asked._

"_Well mom, I mean Teresa, I have just realized this week that I want more for my family. I never wanted to have you feel that I couldn't support them on my own. I am an extremely proud person, you know this. But I know in my heart that this is best for everyone. I don't want to be a part of Walter's world anymore. I realize it may be hard for a while but all I need to be happy is to have my family, everything else is just a bonus. I can do this, for my family. I deserve this and so do they."_

_She flashed me a brilliant smile, so much like my own. "It's about time you grew a set, Emmett. I was wondering when you would get sick of Walter jerking you around by your Johnson. So many times I wanted to say something, but I didn't want to interfere, not like my family did. Nothing would give me more pleasure than tearing Walter down and helping my family in the process. I'll have the papers sent to the office tomorrow morning." With a wink, she added, "And you can call me "Mom" anytime."_

I walked into the office and Jamie met me holding a large manila envelope.

"These were just sent over by courier Emmett. Now are you going to tell me what is going on?"

"I am. Just give me a minute to look over these papers." I went to open the door as she grabbed my arm.

"Mr. Hale's assistant has been calling every fifteen minutes looking for you. Not to mention he was down here about half an hour ago demanding to know where you were."

"I'll handle him as soon as I go over these documents. Until then, you haven't seen me, got it?"

"Yes sir." She answered with a little mock salute. I couldn't wait to tell her the good news.

I shut the door and opened the envelope. Lease information, bank accounts, corporation papers, I couldn't believe everything she had done since yesterday. She must have had a team of lawyers working all night, not to mention pulling some major strings. A slight smile crossed my lips as I saw the enclosed note.

_Emmett,_

_I took the liberty of incorporating the name you suggested. I just made one slight change. Don't let my beautiful daughter's talent go to waste._

_Love,_

_Mom_

I ran my fingers over the sheet of embossed letter head. _**McCarty, Whitlock and McCarty**_. I felt the tears start to well up in my eyes as I thought of everything she had done. She deserved so much better than my father. Emmett's aunt had passed away last year. His uncle had been devastated. Maybe we could take her with us the next time we went to visit them in Tennessee . He was like an older version of Em. I could just see them hitting it off.

I was jerked from my daydream to the sound of my father yelling outside. I had really wanted to discuss things with Jasper first but it seemed fate had another idea. I took a deep breath and steadied myself as I opened the door. There in front of Jamie's desk was my father, looking very much the cartoon character. His face was blood red and I half expected to see steam coming from his ears. Behind him stood James, with his signature smirk on his face.

"You…you… you…what have you done?" He screamed at me.

"Well good morning to you to Walter. Now what exactly are you screaming about? Can Jamie get you some coffee, water, antacid?" _Bodybag for when you keel over? _

"Don't give me that shit. Explain to me why Mike Newton called this morning to inform me he is going with your and Whitlock's design. I told you we were using James' plans. Did you go behind my back and get him to change?"

By now half the floor had gathered in the hall to witness my father's meltdown. Jasper and Miya had taken stance on the other side of the desk and both were watching me intently.

"No, actually, your pretty boy stepson did it all on his own. Seems our fair haired Mike Newton does not take too kindly to homosexuality. All it took was seeing James' dick in some guy's mouth last night to kill your deal." I watched as the smirk on his face slowly slid away.

"You fucking liar! I happen to know that James has screwed half the women in this office."

I opened my mouth just as Alec, the new mail room guy pulled his cart into the hallway obviously coming to enjoy the fireworks.

"Yes sir he has, along with ALL the guys that would have him. Myself included." He paused. "Well, I guess if that is what you want to call it anyway. Personally, it was like being fucked by one of those mini gherkin pickles." He blew him a kiss as the entire hallway erupted into laughter.

I watched as my father, obviously flustered by the revelation, tried to gather his thoughts.

"Well…it doesn't matter because you are going to call Newton and fix this shit – right now!"

"Actually Jasper and I are meeting him for lunch at twelve to go over _our _design."

I watched as his face turned an even deeper shade of red. All shit aside, I was starting to worry about him. His blood pressure was horrid on a good day. He just might stroke out before my very eyes, and briefly, I wondered if that would be a bad thing. "You do it and you are fired, both of you!" He yelled while wheeling to point at Jasper.

I turned to Jasper as well noticing the confusion in his eyes.

"Jazz, I had hoped to discuss this before the shit hit the fan but I guess there is no time like the present. Rose and I have decided to open our own firm, with you as a partner of course. Everything is already set up and it seems we have our fist client, Newton Outfitter's."

I watched as the mixture of shock and disbelief turned to happiness. I turned to Jamie who was watching the spectacle unfold.

"Of course we are going to need an assistant. How do you feel about going with us?" Her response was to throw her arms around my neck and whisper in my ear.

"Thank you, Rose, so much. Emmett will be so proud."

I was sure she had known but the confirmation made my head spin. I would definitely have to ask her about it later.

"Go ahead and quit, Emmett. One job is nothing! Nothing, do you hear me? You'll be back here groveling for your jobs before you know it." I saw the anger in his eyes and it only increased my pleasure to deliver my next bit of news.

"Actually, Walter, two jobs. I had breakfast this morning with the board of the new children's hospital. Seems they like our designs much better. They signed off on it not two hours ago."

"You landed the hospital? The two hundred million dollar children's hospital? A fucking mountain man like you? I don't believe it." He looked like he was on the verge of passing out.

"Don't believe it. I expect you will be getting a call from Carlisle Cullen this afternoon. He graciously agreed to give me some time to break the news to you before he called to confirm it."

I looked to Jasper to gauge his reaction when Miya stepped in front of him blocking my view.

"Well Emmett, if you have both these big projects. I think Jasper will probably need an assistant too, right?"

I glanced over her shoulder to Jasper's laughing form. Silently he nodded his head.

"I believe you're right Miya. Do you happen to have someone you could recommend? I mean I know how much you loooooove working here."

It took her a minute to realize I was teasing. "Fuck if I'll stay here without my Jazzy. Where he goes, I go."

I turned back to my father's shaking form.

"I guess you can consider this all four of our resignations, Walter. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

He gave me a look of pure incredulity. "What is that suppose to mean?"

"It means that our firm is courtesy of you. Teresa is letting us use the money from the divorce settlement. So basically you financed the whole thing."

I thought for a moment that he was going to lunge at me but instead he turned towards James' shrinking form.

"You, you did this to me! This is all you fault!" He spat at him. "You're fired!"

I watched as the look on James's face turned to pure fury. "You fucking, backwoods, trailer trash hillbilly. Who do you think you are coming in here, taking everything I have worked for?" The next thing I knew he was scrambling across the desk, his fist connecting with my face.

I tasted the blood in my mouth as he swung again. Frantically I searched my brain for what I knew about fighting. Unfortunately the only fight I had ever been in was when I was in tenth grade with Lauren Mallory. She had told the entire sophomore class that I had fucked Cody Simmons doggie style, complete with barking sounds after I beat her out for homecoming attendant. Working with that little bit of knowledge I did the only thing I knew.

I bitch slapped him right across the face.

He pulled back his arm and popped me right across my left eye.

I grabbed a large handful of his hair and pulled with all my might.

He was just fixing to hit me again when I heard Jasper yelling in the background.

"Stop fighting like a fucking girl, Emmett! Use your fucking fists!"

That was all it took. There was no way I was going to let this little shit head get the best of me. I took all my frustration and anger and let my fist connect with his jaw. He looked stunned and I wondered if I had affected him at all. Then the next thing I knew his eyes rolled back in his head and he flailed out across the desk.

I shook out my hand as Jasper did some sort of Rocky Balboa dance around me.

"One punch and he dropped like a rock. You are the man, Em."

"Whatever Jasper, come on let's get our stuff and get the hell out of here. I believe we have a twelve o'clock lunch meeting."

The rest of the afternoon went perfectly. Mike was so impressed with me flattening James that he not only signed the contract but gave us the number for a cousin that was planning on opening a chain of high end coffeehouses.

Jasper and I spent the rest of the afternoon going over plans and checking out the space my mother had leased for us. It was a quaint Victorian style house that I told Jasper Alice could have free reign to decorate.

We went our separate ways at three o' clock. I had just enough time to run by the toy store to pick up new Barbie's for the girls and the travel agent for Emmett's surprise. I had taken the money won from Jasper and bought Titan tickets for him. I had decided to plan the whole weekend from plane tickets to hotel reservations, the whole shebang. It had been years since he had gotten to see a home game. I just hoped we would be back in our bodies by then as I had made reservations for Jasper and Edward as well.

I pulled up outside the house and checked out my reflection in the mirror. My eye had a slight purple knot above it and my lower lip was busted, but besides that nothing major. In fact I looked happy and content. An expression I hadn't seen on Emmett's face in a long time.

I grabbed my gifts and headed in the front door.

**Emmett POV**

I wrung my hands nervously. Rose had called me at three and told me she was coming home and would be here around four. Shit. That threw my already hectic day into overdrive. Thankfully Alice and Bella had been there for me, helping me plan the perfect evening for us.

I felt bad they had the girls again, this time for an all-night sleepover, but the girls were thrilled, especially Faith, who had never been to a sleep-over. I could only hope Rose would forgive me for it. I had just wanted a few hours alone with my wife, but Alice and Bella had insisted we needed no interruptions.

I checked the oven, making sure everything was warmed correctly and checked myself in the mirror once more. Alice had gone into overdrive making sure I looked good. And trust me, in this damn red dress, I looked fucking _smokin. _

I heard the garage door and looked in the dining room once more. Good everything was perfect. I heard the lumbering footsteps of my body and smiled as Rose walked in. "Ro! What happened?" I asked, taking in the bruising and busted lip on my face.

She shrugged it off. "Noting major. What is all of this?"

I felt heat flood my face. "I just wanted to…do something nice."

"You remembered!"

Huh? She hugged me tightly and kissed me passionately and I forgot everything in that instant. She pulled away and grinned. "I can't believe you remembered today was the anniversary of our first date!"

Damn. Boy am I good or what? Not that I remembered, but hell, what can I say? It worked. Huh. I'll bet Alice remembered and that was why she was so eager to help me. "Umm, well, I wanted to do something nice too. We've been through a lot this week, so…"

She smiled. "I have so much to tell you. Where are the girls?"

"Alice and Bella helped me a little bit…" I admitted.

Rose smiled. "So they're with them for a few hours?"

"All night." I said seductively. It was weird, me being a straight guy, but the fact of the matter was, I was attracted to myself, which was weird, but it was as if Rose's body was reacting to mine and it didn't matter.

She kissed me again and said, "There is plenty of time for that. First, I'm going to need you to sit down."

"Why?" I asked.

She chortled. "Just because I don't faint doesn't mean you don't."

I winced. "You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"

"Passing out when I told you I was pregnant with Hope? No. I'll not let you forget that any time soon."

I rolled my eyes and went into the living room, perching on the sofa. "Okay. Shoot."

She sat down next to me and grabbed my hands. "Okay…so, I did something today…"

I bit my lip. That was never a good sign. "A-alright."

She took a deep breath. "Where to start?" She closed her eyes and I guess tried to channel her calm. "Okay…well, in this week I have learned a lot about you Em. More than I've ever thought possible. I always knew you were a kind man, a patient man, but I had no idea just how wonderful you were. The amount of shit you put up with at that firm just astounds me. You just take and take and take the crap my father and step-brother fling at you and it's just amazing to me. I can't fathom how you could to it for so many years. I couldn't do it for a week…"

My mind was going a million miles a minute. "Thank you." I said warily. "But what do you mean you couldn't do it for a week?"

She bit her lip. "I, um, okay, well, I found the drawings Em."

"Drawings?"

"The ones in your bottom drawer."

My heart dropped. I hadn't wanted her to find them. I wanted some of them to be a surprise. The rest…well, I had just played around with. I mean, I loved them, but I had just been stretching my potential with some of them. "Ro…"

She held up a hand. "And in looking at them, I realized just how much of your potential was being wasted in a cookie-cutter firm like my father's."

It warmed me. I'd always wondered if Rosalie had ever seen that I really did have what it took to be a successful designer. "Thank you Rosie. It means so much to hear you say that."

She shook her head. "I'm not finished. I…didn't get a chance to tell you about my night last night. When I was there at the strip club, I saw Mike. He was there with James. When he saw James getting his Johnson sucked off by another man, he flipped out. Turns out he's a serious homophobe. After a couple of drinks, he told us he wants your and Jasper's design."

My eyes grew wide. _Mike wants _us _to design his store? _No. Fucking. Way!

"There's more." She added.

More? Can my heart take more? "O-okay.

"Carlisle Cullen was there too. I had a meeting with him this morning. The whole board was there. They want your design for the Children's Hospital."

Rosie was right…I was starting to feel faint. She must have noticed, because her grip on my hands tightened.

"I met with Mom yesterday for lunch."

_Okay…_I thought again. What difference did that make? Sure, I liked Teresa, but that seemed so out of left field.

"I told her that we needed that money she set aside in the trust for us. She's gotten all the paperwork done and signed a lease on a building."

My heart was beating a million miles a minute.

"I…went back to the office after my meeting with Carlisle . I had Jamie pack up your stuff. I…well, you, quit. I told my father off. Jasper, Jamie and Miya are all coming with you. We have our own firm." She picked up a paper from an envelope and handed it to me. It was a letterhead that read, "McCarty, Whitlock and McCarty" on the top. "Mom made up our logo and did a few other things. I…want to work with you…if you'll have me."

I gasped. I think my heart stopped, and then suddenly, it all fell into place. "Rose! Yes! I want you! I've been thinking and I now know how hard it is for you to be at home. I was just thinking today how maybe you could like, I dunno, work part time, we could put Faith in a program or something. I know you want to work and I respect that, but I'd like for you to be home with them a little bit, but maybe if we have our own firm you and I can trade off being at home, cuz, I really like spending time with the little scamps and…"

Her finger went to my mouth. "Shut up Emmett." She kissed me tenderly. "I'm ready. I want to do this. I want to make love with you."

I gasped again. "Rose. Are you sure?"

She took a deep breath. "As sure as I can be. We can do this, right?"

I nodded. "Yes. We can. What about dinner?"

She smiled. "I'll turn the oven down. You get your sexy ass into some of that lingerie I have, okay?"

I giggled. "Yes ma'am!" I said as I jumped up.

"That's sir!" She stated firmly with a pop to my ass.

I laughed again and so did she. We kissed again before I scampered up the stairs. Shit, what to wear? How the fuck was this going to work? Are we even damn crazy for trying this?

_Forget the dress_, I thought as I ripped it from my body. I always liked them pooled on the floor better anyway. However, after being in Rose's body for a week, I knew to hang it up and put it back where I'd found it. I looked at myself in the floor-length mirror. I had on black thigh-highs with a matching bra and panty set. Blood-red roses were embroidered on the bra cups, the tiny square below my pelvic bone and on the tops of the stockings and I was once more thankful for Alice 's taste in lingerie.

The red heels perched on my feet were sexy as hell and I had a smile on my face as I stepped into our room. She was already waiting for me, down to just my boxers and a smile. I felt wetness pool in my center as I sauntered over to the bed. "Are you ready?" I asked.

She nodded. "Let's do this."

* * *

**AN2: Do you want the lemonade? Then REVIEW!!! **


	9. Chapter 8: Friday Lemon

**Disclaimer: We don't own it. 'Nuff said.**

**AN: Thanks to our MASTERbeta fiberkitty. You kick ass sugar! MWAH!**

* * *

**LAST TIME: **

_She was already waiting for me, down to just my boxers and a smile. I felt wetness pool in my center as I sauntered over to the bed. "Are you ready?" I asked. _

_She nodded. "Let's do this." _

**Emmett POV**

I slipped onto the bed and hovered over her lips. Hmm…how to go about this? I glanced down at the erection straining her pants and bit my lip. "Babe, I, un, uh, um, I know I'm normally the one on top, but, uh, no offense…if by some odd chance we _do _make it back to our own bodies, I don't want my dick in traction, okay?"

Her brows furrowed for a minute before she giggled. "Okay. You be on top then."

"Thank you." I said as I slithered onto her. Wow…it was really weird, the cock pressing into my lower regions made my pussy quake and my clit sing. Damn. "Wrap your arms around me. You won't squish me. " I instructed her.

"I tell _you _that all the time. You never believe me."

I smiled at that. "Well, okay, if I wake up in the morning and your body is covered with bruises, it'll be all my fault, okay?"

This time she bit _her _lip and nodded. "Okay."

She wrapped her huge arms around me and it felt nice. I was used to being the one doing the holding, but being held felt unbelievable. "That feels good," I said as I wiggled my hips.

She gasped and tried to roll us. "Ah-ah-ah," I said as I pulled away. "I'm in charge. Don't make me get rough with you."

She laughed my booming laugh. "Honey, my body weighs a buck ten. Last time I stepped _this _body on the scale it was…considerably more."

I bristled and slapped her arm. "Thanks a lot. I'm not fat."

She smiled softly. "I never said you were. Trust me. My man's all muscle."

I rolled my eyes. "At the moment, your man is all pussy."

To my surprise, her eyes darkened and her hands dove into my panties, thrusting two thick fingers into me. I gasped and she said, "Why yes, you are. So, are you going to show me what it feels like to fuck a girl or what?"

My mouth went dry. _Fuuuuucccckkkk. _I loved it when my girl talked shit to me. Damn if it wasn't hot. "Yes ma'am, sir, whatever."

She grinned and her huge hands traveled up my body to my bra. With one flick, it was undone and she yanked it quickly from my body. "You won't be needing that."

"Ungh…" I replied as she tugged me down to her and started feasting on my nipples. "You know," She said after a moment of softly suckling. "I do like doing this. I can see the appeal." Personally, if it felt _half _this good back in _my _body, she'd have to start playing with mine more often. Damn. I bucked my hips into her and she let out a little breath. "Please," She whimpered.

I smirked. Even in her body I could make her want. I liked having that power. Though, the feeling was mutual. I could feel my panties were already soaked through. "Rose!" I said as I continued to grind on her.

"Emmett…" She whimpered. "I ask so little of you. But if you don't get those panties off _right this fucking minute, _I'm going to rip them off, and I hate to, because they're really cute."

I laughed and stood. I moved to take off the stockings when she growled, "Leave them. And the heels."

_Fuck. _I think I got wetter. "Okay." I slid off the panties while she disposed of her boxers. Finally, we were both naked and I joined her back on the bed. "Um, okay. Are you ready?" I asked. I was nervous. I'd never had sex as a woman before. I tried to remember everything I'd toyed around with this past week and straddled her waist.

She nodded. "I'm ready baby. I love you."

"God Rosie, I love you too." I felt her hardness pressing against me and I couldn't help but grind my clit on her a little bit. Oh. _Now _I see why she does that. Shit…that feels soooooo fucking good. I rubbed a bit more and got myself right to the edge when she grasped my hips roughly and bucked up into me.

"SHIT!" I yelled as I stretched. Fuck. Not that it hurt, it didn't, exactly, but damn. My cock was damn HUGE on the inside.

"Oh baby, are you okay?" She asked apologetically.

I blew out a breath. "Y-yeah, I'm fine. I just…wow." The feeling was so foreign. I felt…full, like I couldn't take any more. But then, I was proved wrong as I relaxed my body and sank onto her all the more. "Fuck…that's just…"

"Damn baby," She whimpered, staying still inside of me. "No wonder you love this so much. It's kind of, well, almost awesome all the time, isn't it?" She asked me.

I laughed. "Yeah, you could say that." I twisted my hips a bit and started moving. My hand grazed my clit and I let out a little growl.

She smirked. "Let me show you exactly how I like it. You can't really appreciate it until you've actually experienced it." Her large fingers walked up my leg until they plunged into the juncture and I cried out, orgasming already.

I was panting as I said, "Oh, my, god. What was that?"

She smirked. "Baby, I know _exactly _how to get my body off. Did you like it?"

I nodded. "Can…can you do it again?"

She shook her head. "I know of something better."

My eyes widened as she moved up the bed a bit so she was sitting at more of an angle, like she was propped up. She tugged me forward and attached her lips to my right nipple as one hand worked my left, and the other hand teased my clit.

Only a second later I was coming down again. "Oh fuck Ro! Damn…that feels so fuckgood…"

I pulled away and kissed her tenderly. "I love you babe." I whispered against her lips. I heard her soft whine and knew her release was imminent.

"Em…"

"Shhh," I whispered. "Just cum baby."

She shook her head and her fingers found my clit once more. "You're cuming with me."

My hands fisted in her hair as she bit my nipple roughly and screaming, we both came.

I fell to her chest, panting for all I was worth. "Oh Rosie, thank you. That was just…I mean, it was so…fuck."

She smiled and kissed my hair. "I love you Emmett. Thank you. That was so much better than you jacking me off with your hand."

I looked up at her and smirked. "I love you too Rosalie. You are everything I could ever want and more. I hope we get back to our own bodies, but if we never do, I promise to teach you all the man things you need to know."

She grinned. "And I promise to teach you the womanly art of running a household and not crying over every little thing."

I pouted out my lip and she laughed as she sucked it into my mouth. I felt her erection stirring again inside me. Yup. Little Emmett was _hungry _after a week of depravity.

Her eyes widened. "Again?"

"Honey, this is _my _body we're talking about. He needs to eat. And what he wants to eat is…your pussy!" I cried as I pulled almost all the way off before slamming back onto her.

"Fuck," She muttered as her hands came once more to my hips. "Emmett…I need…I wanna…"

I smiled, knowing what she wanted. My body knew how it liked to make love, even if her mind was the one semi-controlling it. I pulled away and sat up on my knees next to her. "Okay."

I laid down on my back and she looked over at me. "Are you sure?" She asked.

I nodded. "It will be fine. This is…easier than I thought it would be."

She smiled. "Okay then." She was on her knees in a shot. "But…"

My eyebrow rose. "What?"

"I want to do you doggie style." She almost whispered.

I grinned. "Okay then." I flipped over onto my stomach and stuck my ass up in the air. "Here you go baby. Take me."

I waited. I felt her fingers roam my ass, and yes, I felt a drip coming from me in anticipation. I felt her behind me as she grasped my hips gently. Her cock teased me, from the small of my back, all the way down to my clit and I moaned. It felt so damned good…I couldn't help but whine, "Rosalie, please…?"

"Please what?" She asked me.

I groaned. "Please fuck me."

"With pleasure." She said as she thrust into me. I let out a half-scream and came again. Damn, the things that we do together. Wow. And these orgasms? It was like how it felt when _I _come, only over and over again. Shit.

Her fingers moved to my clit and her body doubled over mine as she continued to pound into me. "I can't last much longer," She growled and I knew how she felt. I had damn good stamina, but I look at her ass bent over and me fucking her from behind? I'm like a fucking fifteen year old boy again.

"Cum baby," I whispered to her. She picked up her pace, and with a growl, I felt her cum into me, her hot seed going deep within me and I came again as well, screaming her name so loud, I felt sure the neighbors could hear.

My body fell limp once more, spent, and completely used up. She collapsed to my side. "Damn Emmett. You're body's like a fucking monster."

I snorted. "You say that like you're surprised."

She laughed. "It's just different being on this end of things."

"No doubt."

"So…" She asked softly. "Are you hungry, or do you want to snuggle?"

Mmm…I've always loved snuggling. Rosalie wasn't a snuggler, at all, but I could stay wrapped up in her all day long. "Do you mind if we snuggle?" I asked softly.

She smiled and her arms opened wide. "Come here baby."

I felt a few tears rolling down my face as I curved my body into hers. "I love you Rosie, really."

She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me tenderly once more. "I really love you too Emmett. Forever and always."

"Forever and always," I repeated as we both slipped off to sleep.

**Rose POV**

I awoke the next morning to the first rays of sunlight filtering in through the blinds. _Man, what a night!_ My mind drifted back to what had happened just a few hours earlier.

I had actually got to experience what most women will only dream about. I was able to feel what my husband feels when we make love, or fuck as was the case last night.

Emmett has always had an extreme fondness for my breasts. For what reason I could never understand. They are, after all, just two mounds of flesh. But as I took them in my mouth, relishing their softness, having the nipples harden as my teeth grazed across them I could feel my desire grow tenfold. It was such a moment of complete sexuality knowing that my lips were fueling his desire.

The best part though had to have been as I entered him from behind. The control I had as I set the pace, the power. I controlled the movements and speed, bringing him to the brink again and again. There was nothing like it. It did suck that I couldn't have the multiple orgasms I was so accustomed to but there was absolutely nothing to complain about as the hot cum left my body. It was a sensation I was positive I could get used to.

My stomach let out a low growl as I thought about the poor dinner Emmett had made, probably burnt and shriveled to a crisp by now. Maybe I would make his favorite breakfast, French toast with bacon.

I turned and looked at the sleeping form beside me. He was completely covered up with the comforter, snug as a bug in a rug. He had two large pillows over his head blocking the incoming sunlight. If he hadn't woke up like this every morning of his life I would be worried if he could breathe under all his coverings.

_Maybe just a few more minutes of sleep._ I thought. We hardly ever got to sleep in together due to the girls. I closed my eyes once more only to be invaded with images of our lovemaking.

It occurred to me that one thing we had not tried last night was oral sex. I had never personally eaten pussy and I was positive that asking if Emmett had ever sucked dick would be a large _hell_ no. However, if we were going to be stuck like this we might as well go all the way. It had always been my favorite way to wake up, might as well pass the pleasure along to my hubby.

I kept my eyes closed as I mentally chanted over and over in my head, "My body, my body, my body." I slid under the covers and scooted down until I was at the end of the bed and then silently inched my way up between his spread eagle legs. I didn't want to wake him so I did my best not to touch him; however, I felt a few rough hairs and made a mental note to tell Emmett he would soon need a wax session. _Lord, he was just going to love that_.

Just as I reached the apex of his legs I opened my mouth, determined that if I was going to do this, I might as well dive in head first so to speak. That was when I felt it, a gigantic dick poking me right in the eye.

I threw the covers off of us both revealing Emmett's large naked body sprawled beneath me. Pure joy mixed with shock flowed through my body as I let out a blood cuddling scream. Unfortunately my piercing shriek woke my sleeping husband as he bolted upright and promptly fell off the bed. I crawled to the edge and looked over the side.

There looking back at me, blue eyes, dimples…Emmett. _My Emmett. _

"Em?" I heard my soft voice float through the air and I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or cry.

"Rose? Is it…did we…am I dreaming? Cause damn babe, if I am I don't want to wake up."

I did laugh then. "No baby, we're back. We did it, we made it back."

I watched as his gorgeous dimples made an appearance again. Gingerly his hands drifted to his erect cock and balls and with one long stroke I saw the smile on his face grow even larger.

"Little Em, so good to have you back." He cooed as his hands continued to stroke between his legs.

I sat up on my knees and ran my fingers through my long hair. I arched my back stretching towards the sky and slowly ran my hands across my face then to my breasts and flat stomach as I checked out my returned anatomy.

It was only a few seconds later that I resumed my stance on all fours peering over the edge of the bed. I was met with a long searing kiss that literally took my breath away.

"I want you Rose, now." He whispered as his lips devoured mine.

"Now" I whispered back as I pulled him back to me on the bed. "Now, forever and always."

* * *

I smiled as we drove the jeep down the road. It was a nice day outside. The sun was shining, the weather was warm, I had my hair pulled back in a ponytail and closed my eyes as the breeze blew through my hair.

"You're the most beautiful woman in the world Rose." He said as his thumb grazed my cheek.

I looked over at him and my smile grew. If this experience had taught us anything, it was to appreciate each other more. And I did. He was one of the best men…out of all the frogs in the world, I managed to find a prince. Speaking of prince…I bit my lip. "Honey?" I asked.

"Hmmm?" He had had his eyes back on the road.

I hadn't been able to get the drawing of that nursery out of my head. "Have you been taking my birth control pills this week?"

His eyes whipped back to me. "Fuck. Rosie…damn baby, I'm so sorry I…we'll make a run to the pharmacy first and get that…"

I put my hand on his arm. No, it wasn't ideal, especially if I were going to join him in the firm, but if God granted us another child…well, I was all for it. "If anything _did _happen from last night, I think you and I could handle it." I smiled. "Besides, I think the girls would like another baby in the house."

He swallowed. "Are-are you sure?"

I shook my head. "No. But I know that what will be will be and I accept that."

He nodded and tugged my hand to his mouth to kiss it. Emmett was, surprisingly, romantic on occasion. Perhaps the time spent in my body will increase that romantic gene he has.

Suddenly I giggled. "What?"

I smiled. "I think I like the fact that I might have gotten you pregnant."

He smiled that beautiful, slightly mischievous smile he has. "How do you think I felt after you telling me about both the girls? I felt like the king stud."

I shivered as I thought of the love we'd made once we both realized we were back in the correct bodies. It had been perfect and slow and real.

We pulled into Alice and Jasper's driveway and strolled up to the door. We had an open door policy in our friendships. If the door was unlocked, we were welcome to come on in. On occasion we'd seen things we didn't really want to, but most of the time we stayed true to that.

"Hi." I said as we walked in.

"Mommy! Daddy!"

Emmett swung both girls into his arms and breathed in their little girl scents. "It's nice to be able to pick them both up at the same time."

I shot him a look. Hmm…maybe I did need to start with some free weights on my arms to build up those muscles just a tiny bit. I'll bet Emmett would like it if I were stronger, (and more assertive) in bed. The thought made me smile.

Alice came bounding up to me. "So…did it work?"

I looked at Emmett confused but he just smiled. "Al, have I told you how glad I am I met you that first day on campus?"

Her eyes widened. "Emmett! You guys! You switched back!"

My mouth fell open. "You know?"

Emmett winced. "Well, babe, it just sorta happened…"

I smiled. "Jamie found out too."

"How?" He asked, bewildered.

I shrugged. "Women's intuition I guess. She knew you weren't you. I'd be worried about the two of you if not for the fact that I worked closely with her for the past week. You can be her friend Emmett. I won't mind."

He blushed. "I didn't ever want you to think…"

I stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. "Baby, I know you'd never do that. Besides, if you ever turned out like my Dad I'd flay you."

He shivered. "I'd give you permission. I'd lie out and wait for it."

"Do the boys know?" I asked. It would make this past week make more sense to them.

Alice looked at me and giggled. "Oh God no. Do you really think they'd want to know that? Um, no. Edward would have you both committed. He'd never believe it. Nope, that'll stay between the four of us."

I breathed out a sigh of relief. I couldn't help but feel that the less that knew, the better. "Good."

I felt a tug on my jeans. Faith. I picked her up and snuggled her to me. "Mommy loves you so much baby."

Her little hands went to my face and she smiled. "Mama? Mama!" She threw those tiny arms around me and hugged me for all I was worth.

I looked at Emmett, who shrugged. "She figured it out too. She missed you. Apparently I'm only fun to play with on occasion."

I laughed. "Oh Emmett…you just didn't know her whole routine. You didn't know the games we play during the day. I'll show you. I'll need to if we're going to work half and half, right?"

He smiled. "Exactly."

Our lives weren't perfect, but at least now we both knew what it was like to walk a mile

in each other's shoes.

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**AN2: Okay guys, just the epilogue to go. Now I want you to know that MM1's reviewers have just kicked my ass. She is getting as many reviews for one chapter as I did for the whole story. So let's have this story go out with a bang…and you might get a little surprise.**


	10. Chapter 10: Epilogue

**Disclaimer: We don't own it. 'Nuff said.**

**AN: Thanks to our MASTERbeta fiberkitty. You kick ass sugar! MWAH! **

**NOTE! PLEASE read the bottom AN for some important information!**

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**Rose POV**

Slowly I took the pan of homemade macaroni and cheese out of the oven. Tonight was Emmett's birthday and I had decided to make him his favorite Southern meal - fried chicken, baked beans, Mac and cheese and sweet cornbread. _Yep, I am so going to have my brains screwed out for making him this meal. That is, if he can even move after he stuffs his belly._

Alice had agreed to help me get everything ready and I watched as she waddled around the kitchen. She only had about seven weeks to go and she looked like she was about to pop. She stood on her tip toes trying to reach a pan on the top shelf, finally throwing herself down in a chair with a huff when she realized she still lacked a good five inches reaching the cabinet.

"Stupid fucking cabinets! What is the fucking point in making something that only a damn giant could reach? I guess they think everybody is fucking seven feet tall."

I reached up and pulled the pan down sitting it on the table in front of her. I slid into the seat next to her and grabbed her tiny hand in my own.

" Alice , sweetie, what's wrong?"

"Hormones, I guess." She sighed.

"You're pregnant Allie, you don't have Tourette's. Now tell me what's wrong."

She took a deep breath as the tears started to slide down her cheeks.

"I don't know if I can do this Rose. It's just too much. I mean I am so happy the three of you have your own firm, but I feel like Jasper is never home anymore. I think he is trying to prove himself since your mom financed the whole thing. Like he has to show he deserves to be a partner since he didn't contribute anything financially."

"You know we don't feel like that, don't you Alice ? Jazz is our partner through and through. Would you like me to have Emmett talk to him about it?"

"God no! If he thought I was telling everyone our problems it would just make things worse."

I knew all the stress was not good for her. The doctor had already been talking about putting her on bed rest if she didn't get her blood pressure down. I decided I would broach the subject one more time and hoped I could get through to her.

" Alice , I know I… I mean, Bella and I promised to not tell Jasper but you need to tell him about the…"

"No, No, No!!!" She shrieked. "You promised me. I can handle this. This would just make things harder on us."

"He has a right to know, Alice . You need him right now. He will understand. Just like Emmett and Edward would understand if it was me or Bella. Please tell him." I begged.

"Listen to me. Edward would understand because I seriously think he was a woman in another life and Emmett understands because he_ was _a woman a few months ago. Jasper is different. I do not want to put him under any more stress right now. Just let me get through the next two months, please Rose."

"Alright, I won't tell him. Chicks before dicks and all that. But if anything happens that could put any of you in harm's way I am breaking that promise. Deal?"

"Deal." She said as she tightly gripped my hand and gave me a soft smile. "Now let's finish up that birthday dinner."

**Emmett POV**

The last few months have been terrific. I have my body back, my wonderful wife is pregnant, (which, yes, is my fault. Hey, don't expect me to remember birth control pills in addition to everything else! I was swamped.) Where was I? Oh. Yeah. Life is perfect.

Thanks to Rose's tenacity, we had more business than we could handle, and had hired a new receptionist because Jamie and Miya couldn't handle all the incoming calls. Life was crazy in a perfect sort of way.

Now here we were, celebrating my birthday. Most guys wouldn't admit that being in their thirties bothered them. I was one of them, but really? I wouldn't trade all the experience I've had in my thirty three years on earth just to go back and relive my teen years. Life was harder, but it was so much sweeter now than it was then.

I smiled as Rosalie, with her soft baby bump, came in, bringing my cake...along with all thirty three candles. Hmm...maybe I'll spank _her _thirty three times. I grinned as she sat the cake in front of me and pulled her to me for a searing kiss, earning catcalls and wolf-whistles from our friends.

We ate our cake. Mmm...my favorite, and then it was time for opening presents. I got some cool tools from Edward and Bella, a neat new briefcase from Jasper and Alice , and Rosalie, my wonderful, perfect Rosalie gave me the best gift ever.

I opened the box to find a small photo album. Inside it were all pictures of our baby. She'd had a 3D ultrasound done. I traced over its perfect lips, which looked like Rosalie's, its eyes, which were shaped like mine, all the way down to..._what? _

I looked up at Rosalie, who was beaming and crying and she said softly, "It's a boy."

I looked at the little man's wiener on display and grinned. "That's my boy. Not a shred of modesty."

She laughed. "If only your daughters would learn that." I glanced over to where Faith had her dress pulled up over her head, displaying her "Blue's Clues" panties.

I grinned. "Eh, well, they have plenty of years for modesty."

"I hope she doesn't do like Alice and try that in front of the whole school." Rose said.

"ONCE!" Alice snarled. She was closing in on the home stretch of her pregnancy and she was _not _one to be screwing with.

"In sixth grade." Rose shot back at her.

"Bitch."

"Whore." Rose said lovingly.

"Ladies..." I said, bringing the attention back to me. After all, I WAS the birthday boy. "Rose." I said, pulling her to me and settling her in my lap. "I don't know what to say."

She smiled. "Guess those plans for that nursery are going to be in full swing soon."

I kissed her tenderly. "He's gonna be one hell of a football fan."

She rolled her eyes. "Just don't name him Titan or anything, okay?"

I grinned. "I thought Emmett Junior would be appropriate..."

"Not just no, but hell no. I will not have him spouting off about being a _second _like Mike has his kid being called."

I snorted at that. "You do have a point. Why don't you name him then?" I asked.

She nodded. "I do like the name Kellan..."

I rolled the name around in my head. "Kellan Emmett McCarty. Not bad." I told her. She popped me on the arm and I pulled her tighter for another kiss.

The rest of the evening passed well enough. Finally, when all the kids started getting sleepy, the adults started rounding up their children. I walked through the house making sure the kids had cleaned up so Rosie wouldn't have to do it when I heard Alice and Jasper arguing;

"You just don't understand Jazzy! If I get put on bed rest...who'll do everything else?"

"You won't be." He assured her.

"You just...you just don't get it!" She screamed. "You take everything so lightly! I just wish for once you could be in my shoes! Then you'd realize what it was to worry and freak out over everything and worry if you drink a cup of coffee or if you've eaten too much sugar for the baby or if you're going to hurt yourself or the life you're carrying while you're trying to care for your other child and not make her feel left out!" She let out a little growl and stomped away. He looked up and caught my eye and I shook my head. I'd handle this.

A plan began to form in my head as I looked for her. I found her in the dining room, viciously cleaning up, throwing paper plates into the trashcan. "Ali."

She looked up and I saw the tears pouring down her face. "Em. Why can't he understand?"

I shrugged. "Until you've lived in a woman's body, you'll never understand. Hell, even being IN Rose's body I know I can't understand this one Ali. Cut him some slack."

She sighed. "I know I'm being bitchy, but I'm just worried..."

I nodded. "Of course you are. You went through a lot with Reagan."

She sniffed. "I wish he could be as understanding as you are."

I smiled as I thought of Seth's grandfather. "I may have a way..."

* * *

**AN2: Want more? Want Jazzy to switch places with Alice? Send us some love and tell us! We're bouncing ideas around, but we have to know if you want to read it! Please let us know in a review! If so, put us on your author alerts and if we get enough votes, we'll start working on it in the next few weeks!**


	11. Chapter 11: AN: VERY IMPORTANT!

**Disclaimer: Don't own it. No, we are NOT Stephenie Meyer. If we were, we would have named the kid a hell of a better name than **_**Renesmee. **_

**Author's Note:**

**Yes, we know you hate these. We just wanted to let you know that we have started a new profile with our cohort "I'mwiththevampires'08".**

**It's called "VampsofTwatlight" and you can find it by going to either of our profile pages and either looking in our favorites or looking for the link on the profile. **

**We will be posting our continuation of this story, titled "Preggers and Proud" over on VampsofTwatlight, so, come on over and check us out, won't you? We'll be posting all of our collabs along with any collabs with IWTV08 as well. I know she and twilightmom are cooking up a lovely story. Shhh…I can't say anything more…you'll find out all in good time.**

**Also! We're going to be hosting a newbie contest! Keep an eye out on VampsofTwatlight for more details!**


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